Dear MIMsters: Was I Wrong To Tell This Guy I Love Him… What Does His Silence Mean?
I am a 23-year-old lady, and a university graduate. There is this guy I was studying with at campus. We became very close friends and he helped me throughout my education at the university, especially with difficult subjects like accounting and auditing. We both graduated with first class degrees from Makerere University.
When I was suffering from a painful abortion and heartbreak (my ex had told me that he didn’t want anything to do with me or the baby, and simply sent me money for abortion), I was desperate and had no one to turn to, but he was always there for me. He did whatever he could to cheer me up since all I could do was cry every day.
Gradually, I fell in love with him. However, I was not sure he also felt the same way about me. Even after graduating from university, he would call me every day to check how I was doing. He was the only male and friend I had since I had lost trust in my female friends. I felt I loved him more and more every day.
A month back, I felt I could not keep it anymore and told him how I felt about him, that I loved him. I expressed my feelings via text. It’s not that I am a loose woman or have the courage to chase men, but for him, I felt I had to tell him. However, what hurts me the most is ever since I told him about my feelings, he has stopped talking to me. He no longer texts, calls or visits. I regret telling him how I feel every day. I’m not sure if he is dating someone, but he always told me he was single and as far as I know, he was not close to any lady.
I feel I have lost a good friend. Even if he doesn’t love me back, I still need him as a friend. I don’t know why he kept quiet when I told him about my feelings – he neither accepted nor rejected me. He just read the texts and didn’t respond.
Please, I need your advice. What does his silence mean? What should I do to bring our friendship back? I value his friendship. He was the only person I could talk to whenever I had any problem. Was I wrong to tell him how I felt? What should I do? Please help me.
Call and talk with him on normal ground forget about the topic for now, see his reaction before bring up the issue of love
Hmmmmmmmmmm. Give him time and space to come around. If he doesn’t, then let him go.
Dear, you were not wrong but honestly you shouldn’t have, am sure he has same feelings for you hence his reaction, call and talk to him, tell him you had to take that one off your chest but his friendship is of great value to you and he shouldn’t let what you said come between that. #bestofgrace.
You aired you view and your feelings, it’s natural.
let him be for now but if he doesn’t come around please leave him alone…
but please next time let things be don’t express such to a man
My dear, just let him be for now. Am sure he will come around.
If he doesn’t pick your calls, text him and tell him how you value your friendship and would like to maintain it that way if he doesn’t feel the same way like you. However I don’t think you love him. You are just grateful and moved by his care. I can almost bet that you might go back to that ex if he comes begging! Even if your friend loves you he might not want to pursue it because of the abortion you did. His will be insecure about your ability to procreate and decisions