10 Coping Tips for Every Single Mum

Eyinade Eweje

Whether as a result of a divorce, spouse’s death or other relationship complications/mishaps, raising a child on your own can leave you emotionally drained constantly. However, no matter what challenges or pressures single parenting throws your way, don’t give up! Here are 10 coping tips to help you be the very best momma you can be.

1. Have a compassionate & reliable support system. This is even more important if you are a busy mum. From trusted friends and family to a nanny, having the support of people who have lots of affection towards your child to care for him in your absence or just hang out with him minimizes that usual overwhelming feeling and affords you the opportunity to pursue your dreams and other interests, rest assured that your child is in good hands.

2. Create quality time to bond. This is a top way to constantly reassure him of your love and commitment. Discover his personality and interests, and create fun memories that linger on. Building a loving and trusting relationship with your child is crucial to making your parenting roles easier.

3. Set clear boundaries. With the financial pressure and several other things you’re battling with, it’s easy to just let your child do whatever he wants but you can’t afford to. Don’t become so vulnerable that he knows just how to walk over you to always get away with his excesses. Remember, if your goal is to raise a disciplined, wholesome child, you can’t let your child take you for granted. Set clear rules to enforce discipline and be fair and firm while enforcing them. Don’t forget to praise good behaviour.

It also helps if he has a few father figures who can mentor him and aid you in keeping him on the right track.

4. Keep your issues private. No matter what issues you have with your child’s father, try as much as possible to keep them between yourselves. Your child will obviously know mummy and daddy have a few problems but poisoning his mind against his father when he asks questions to get him on your side or simply get your child to shut him out can overburden your child’s mind. This may affect his performance at school and overall wellbeing.

READ ALSO: 11 Friends Every Mum Should Have

5. Let your child’s father be a part of his life too. Your child still needs his dad, so, don’t shut him out of your child’s life if he wants to be involved or support you, except he poses some threat to your child. Try to let go of the bitterness or resentment you feel and maintain a united front in your child’s interest.

6. Don’t feel guilty. Some single mums blame themselves for their plight and try to compensate their child by overindulging them. Try to let go of the past and focus on moving forward. Your child’s future and yours largely depends on this.

7. Create me time. Yes, your child is the centre of your world, still, you need to take good care of yourself. Eat a healthy diet, exercise, rest, go to the movies, spa, hang out with friends, go on a mini vacay. And if you find love again, give it another shot. You deserve to be happy.

8. Don’t let what others say weigh you down. People may talk about your past, judge your parenting skills and even laugh at you, but don’t let their actions pull you down.

9. Cry. When it all becomes too overwhelming, let out all the steam. You’ll feel better and reenergized to move on. Sharing your concerns with trusted family and friends also helps. You may also join support groups with other mums going through similar plight for advice.

10. Stay positive. No matter how tough it gets, remember every mum, whether single or married, equally has their own unique set of challenges. The key is to keep trying to overcome those challenges to move ahead. Like every mum, you’ll make mistakes; lots of them – don’t beat yourself up over them. Learn from them, pick up the pieces and keep forging ahead, telling yourself, ‘You can do it!’ And you will. You’ll see.