Dear MIMers: Should I Marry The Man Who Raped Me Because Of This?
I have a boyfriend I’ve been dating for the past 5 years now. We decided to abstain and get married as a virgin couple. However, last year December, I was raped by a friend in my aunt’s house. After a long while, I told my mum and we went to the hospital where the doctor said I will have to go for a scan. I did and was told I was 25 weeks pregnant.
This really surprised my mum because she knew about my aim to get married as a virgin. I explained what happened to her and she really understood. My dad however didn’t even listen to my explanations.
The problem now is that I was told I can’t abort the pregnancy and the guy who raped me said I should
marry him. I’m just 20 years old and anytime I set my eyes on him, I always feel like killing him. I don’t love him at all. In fact, I loathe him.
I don’t know how to tell my boyfriend what happened but my aunt and my mum insist that I should marry the man that raped me since I’m already pregnant in order to avoid marrying more than one man in my life. They believe any other man would ultimately dump me and I’m too young to start dealing with several heartbreaks because of this ordeal.
The question is, should I accept to marry the rapist or explain what happened to my boyfriend and see if he will still go ahead with our relationship? Can he ever accept my pregnancy? Please advise.
Speechless
Please dear, talk with your boyfriend and hear him, dn’t marry anyone you dn’t love cos you will end up regretting in future, even if your boyfriend reject you, keep the baby……..You shall surely make it in life
pls,keep the baby and explain to your boyfriend if he can still continue with the relationship but if otherwise don’t go for the man you don’t love .marrying man you don’t love is very risk cos you can not be happy with him and this my lead to breakup .you can still another suitor who will accept you for who you are.
if he loves you he will.tell him the truth.dont marry him ooo u can never love him…u would live miserably all your life….my dear explain to him
This is so sad. Please my dear don’t allow anybody cajoled ypu into marry anyman simply because he fathered your child. He is a rapist and can never be good to you. You can explian to your boyfriend and if he rejectes you don’t give up and see a better life ahead of you. Marrying the rapist will always remind you of the bitter experience. God will see you through my dear.
Of course no. Please don’t marry the fool. He will feel accomplished and u will be the loser. Please, keep the baby and the earlier u explain to your boyfriend, the better it will be. The Almighty God will provide ur own husband if ur boyfriend refused to marry you but don’t marry the idiot out of pressure. He is not worth ur love. I am really sorry about what happened to you
Why would you marry someone that raped you? He is a beast so please do not marry him.
Please don’t ever marry because of a condition especially not to a rapist. I wonder why you didn’t tell your boyfriend after being raped(that’s the first question I would ask if I’m in your boyfriend’s shoes). Tell him anyway. All you need now is your parents’ support to take care of your baby while you continue with your education. Others with worse stories have succeeded in life so don’t sentence yourself to a lifetime of misery
Please discuss with your boyfriend. You won’t lose anything by telling him. It’s better to be a single mum than to marry the rapist. He will definitely not value you because he doesn’t know your worth. Even if your boyfriend doesn’t want you back there are so many good guys out there that would not mind. Don’t ever let your self esteem and confidence to go low. Its not your fault so keep your head up and move on.
Explain to your boyfriend, if he accepts you, fine, if he doesn’t, be strong and let him go. Keep you baby, beg ur mom and aunt for support, they might be angry initially but they’ll eventually mellow. On the part of the rapist, tell him to give you time till the baby is safely born, both of you should concentrate on that for now. You need time to heal,they s all unders that. The Lord’s your strength.
instead of arresting your rapist n charging him to court, they are asking you to marry him instead. sorry to say this but the truth is your mum and aunty are guilty of the rape. Which guardian does that? mtcheeeeew…. pls talk to your bf, if God wills u two together, trust me when I say u will still end up together.
This sounds like a movie, but my advice is that, you stould talk to your boyfriend first & see his reactions! But its if I were in his shoes its a no no no no for me. Tnx for the story
Speechless
U cn answer d question u asked better
No comment
Why go ahead to marry a heartless rapist who didn’t think twice about doing such act…. Please explain to you boyfriend even if he can’t put up with you anymore,you will know you didn’t keep it as a secret…. Your boyfriend will even thinks you’ve been cheating on him if you marry d other guy… I know you’re young to be facing this kind of ordeal,but hey God’s is in absolute control of all situations,so talk to Him….
How come u are 25weeks pregnant (6months) pregnant and u never knew ? Never noticed a missed period? Never noticed an object moving in u? Ur aunty and boyfriend didn’t notice d changes in ur body? Am speechless.
Talk 2 ur bf abt it 1st b4 u decide on moving on wit d other
Don’t marry a rapist,tell your boyfriend whatsap-sth u should v done when it happened. Kip your baby
And you think marrying this randy he-goat is what’s going to save you from heartbreak??? Being raped and pregnant is enough trouble already, please face your life. If you explain to your boyfriend and he’s not accepting it, move on. Life is much more than dealing with useless men.
My God
Pls under no circumstance should you marry a rapist..he is evil and cursed…nobody knowingly goes into that kind of union..explain to your boyfriend with a little help from your mum..just to convince him…He might stay, but even if he doesnt…..Just remember, even in our darkest nights.. Joy cometh in the morning…
U deserve better than ending up with that rapist of a man,for the fact that som1 raped n got u pregnant doesn’t mean he is ur husband.marrying him will b d greatest mistake u will ever make cos d foundation is faulty.pray about it b4 telling ur boyfrnd,if he accepts good but if not don’t despair bcos all things work for good for them that love God.He will bring ur husband who will luv u n ur baby.Hold fast to God’s unchanging hand n don’t listen to ur mum or aunt cos their advice isn’t the best,they r humans n make mistakes only God is infallible.
Report the rapist to the police and tell your family to support you in making sure he’s behind bars! I can imagine how confused and hurt you are. Don’t worry girl you’ll get through it.
Dont ever marry him, his a rapist he doesn’t deserve u… Talk to ur boyfriend about it