Dear MIM: “Did I make a wrong decision to marry someone who knows my past?”

I and hubby dated for 8 years before we got married. In those 8 years, we spent 6 years apart from each other because I was at the university for most of 5 of those years.

We use to see each other on and off and got to talk on phone a few times then. During this time, he dated other girls ( I later got to know) and I did same. I met a guy that helped me when I was still seeking for admission. He said he loved me and wanted to marry me but I found out that I would face problems as his people wanted a girl from his village for him, being the first son of a royal family. We ended the relationship but I found out a month later that I was pregnant.

At this time, I was in the same town with my hubby. He helped me financially to get an abortion. After that, he was supportive and showed me more love and we got married 3 years after that incident. We’ve been married for 10 years now with 4 kids.

Hubby was faithful until when he started making money big time, the cheating started. Whenever I found out he’s cheating or about to cheat with a new girl and confront him, he would turn the table on me and would say, “after all you’re not a saint.” On one occasion, he said it point blank that “even though I knew you were pregnant for another man I still married you. Which man would do that?”

I’m not claiming to be a saint here but I’ve been faithful in this marriage and can never see myself cheating on hubby as I love him very much. But the constant emotional abuse I go through daily is too much. Did I make a wrong decision by marrying someone who knows my past? I am kind of regretting marrying him. I’m always afraid to correct or point out when he does something wrong and it’s draining me emotionally.