Dear MIM: “Did I make a wrong decision to marry someone who knows my past?”
I and hubby dated for 8 years before we got married. In those 8 years, we spent 6 years apart from each other because I was at the university for most of 5 of those years.
We use to see each other on and off and got to talk on phone a few times then. During this time, he dated other girls ( I later got to know) and I did same. I met a guy that helped me when I was still seeking for admission. He said he loved me and wanted to marry me but I found out that I would face problems as his people wanted a girl from his village for him, being the first son of a royal family. We ended the relationship but I found out a month later that I was pregnant.
At this time, I was in the same town with my hubby. He helped me financially to get an abortion. After that, he was supportive and showed me more love and we got married 3 years after that incident. We’ve been married for 10 years now with 4 kids.
Hubby was faithful until when he started making money big time, the cheating started. Whenever I found out he’s cheating or about to cheat with a new girl and confront him, he would turn the table on me and would say, “after all you’re not a saint.” On one occasion, he said it point blank that “even though I knew you were pregnant for another man I still married you. Which man would do that?”
I’m not claiming to be a saint here but I’ve been faithful in this marriage and can never see myself cheating on hubby as I love him very much. But the constant emotional abuse I go through daily is too much. Did I make a wrong decision by marrying someone who knows my past? I am kind of regretting marrying him. I’m always afraid to correct or point out when he does something wrong and it’s draining me emotionally.
do something to restore his brain to factory setting
I didn’t get it. It’s not as if you couldn’t give birth after marriage. He is just abusing you emotionally because he knows the buttons to press. When next he tries that tell him you are used to that sermon and that it doesn’t hurt you anymore. Tell him to say something else that after all you didn’t tie rope on his neck and dragged him to the alter or to see your parents. At the same time tell him you will no longer tolerate his adulterous lifestyle. Trust me he will be taken aback. If God has forgiven you no human being has the right to taunt you with your past
Hmmmmmmmmmm serious something. Men always do this, use your past against you smh.
Cheap emotional blackmail. Better stand up to him. Your past doesn’t define you. Meanwhile get your groove back on, you have kids to think of, get something doing that you love. Wear nice clothes that make you feel sexy and beautiful. If you are depressed get help medically or from religious clerics. Be bold and face him. Enough is enough.
Dnt even show him dt wat he says hurt u ok if NT he will be hurting u d more
U didn’t make any mistake my dear dnt mind him ok
Hmmmm some men are crazy
wait oo. the last time i checked the bible condemned the one who caused others to stumble. next tym remind him that he gave u the money for abortion. standup and speak out madam stop takin his shit.
Don’t give to his cheap blackmail anymore, next time he spills such rubbish stand up to him but don’t insult him, tell him God hasn’t condemned you therefore he has no right to. Tell him you’re not falling for that old line anymore and that you refuse to be intimidated or pay for a past mistake for the rest of your life through his words and actions. Next, go about your normal duties with a happy countenance, dont wear a sad look, dont get angry, sing if you have to, humm lovely sings, force a smile on ur face if you have to, act like he doesn’t exist, blank him wella, enjoy your life and forget about him, na him go tire. Your happiness is in ur hands.
Your man is just being petty and trying to cover up for his mess.