Dear MIM: I Really Need To Make A Decision About My MIL Before I Lose It

 

I am married to a man I dated 8 years ago who has lived all his life with his parents. His father passed on some years ago and left him some money which he used to build the house we are living in with his mum.

2 months after our formal introduction/marriage was fixed and done, my MIL started acting up that her son should have married from a rich home bla bla bla. I ignored her but still played my daughter-in-law role in her life perfectly.

3 months later, she started nagging me for a grandchild. Then people like neighbours, her church members told me she told them to ask me the following;

(1.) How many abortions I have had.

(2.) If O’m still fertile.

(3.) How many men I have slept with.

I told my husband who said I shouldn’t mind her. She started making my marriage bitter for me by trying to control our decisions in the house. She would collect feeding money and make a list for me to go to the market, she dishes out food for me, it’s a taboo that I take a nap, I can’t go out with my husband, I must not touch any appliances, she calls me names like prostitute, gold digger, ugly, barren, witch even in the presence of her son. Her son, my husband would do nothing but tell me he can’t go and beat his mum.

Trouble started when I decided to break free from her controlling arms. We have a son who is one year old but my MIL is still a pain in the neck. My reasons are the way she treats me. She is mean to everyone including, her family, her siblings and even neighbours. She insults my family members anytime they come to visit, so no one wants to come around.

If I cook without her permission, she will curse me, pee into the food and throw it out. I can’t go out to visit my female friends nor have them come visit me. She insists we shouldn’t lock our room at night while sleeping so that she can come in to pray and I disagreed with her.

She curses my child every chance she get whenever she is angry and the next day, she wants to play with him like nothing happened. Family members, her church pastor and my husband’s friends have settled issues between us countless times. She pretends to change but the next minute she is back to who she is. If she sees me or my child wearing new clothes or a new hair do, she will make that day miserable for me.

Currently, I’ve stopped my child from going close to her, and I’ve refused to have anything to do with her. My husband keep begging me to endure. I really dont want my child to grow up in this kind of environment, so I need your advice on what to do.