Dear Mimster: “I’m losing it already. How do I handle a husband like mine?”

I got married to my husband 6 years ago. I can say categorically that I’ve never been happy in the marriage and I’m losing it.

The second month after our wedding, I caught my hubby cheating on me. I confronted him and he apologised. Some months later, I caught him again, and he threatened to pack all his things from the house. I called his sister who talked to us and he returned his things back to the house, I was already pregnant then.

In less than a year after we got married, I treated STD twice for which he apologised as the cause. I delivered the baby in 2012. After then, a lady called me to tell me I was only keeping his bed warm till she is ready to marry him. I told my husband about it and he said I shouldn’t take her seriously.

In 2015, I had two miscarriages at the early stages as a result of infection. I told him about it, and we were placed on treatment. Right there in my presence, my hubby sent the prescription of the drugs to a lady and called her to get the drugs immediately.

We’ve not been living together, and any time I raise the issue of living together with him, he’d tell me to stay in Ibadan where he put me and the kid. Mid 2015, one of his girlfriends called me that she was pregnant for my hubby. I didn’t even get angry at her, I told her to keep it that automatically she has become his wife. She begged me not to be angry with her that she didn’t mean to ruin my home. I asked my hubby about it but he denied. The lady stopped calling me after a while.

Months later, her friend called me that she has put to bed that I should come and fight her there, but I declined. My hubby denied totally when I asked him again. My hubby hardly comes home again, he comes like once in two months, (Lagos to Ibadan).

I got pregnant and delivered through CS, my brother paid the hospital bills. (I’m a graduate but not yet employed). Hubby only came home to do the naming and left two days after. I’ve been the only one looking after myself and the two kids as he has refused to come home.

I was frustrated and told his sister about it, his siblings felt disappointed and spoke to him, but he was rude to them all and said it’s his life. He came home over the weekend and I tried to talk to him about living with him, but he said no, that I should not raise the topic again. I”m really frustrated, my spirit is down and I have no one to talk to. I was forced to tell my mum about it but she said I should be patient. I’m his legal wife. I’m considering leaving him but I have no job yet that can sustain me and the two kids. My emotions hurt real bad. No hubby-wife talk or gist when he’s around, (he’s been doing this for over 3 years now) and keeps to his phone which he has passworded.

Please advise me because I’m losing it already.