”There is more to life than the shame I went through in my crashed marriage.” Toke Makinwa On Giving Marriage Another Shot

Popular Nigerian radio personality and TV host, Toke Makinwa, may have outgrown the challenges life threw at her at a very tender age, from how she lost her parents to gas explosion (read here) when she was just 8-years-old, to the hell she endured in her relationship and then marriage which ended after finding out her husband had impregnated his longtime girlfriend, Anita Solomon.

During an interview with ENCOMIUM Weekly about her book ”On Becoming”, 32-year-old Toke made it clear that she is no longer bitter about her failed marriage with Maje Ayida and that she is ready to remarry as marriage is a beautiful thing.

Read excerpts from the interview below…

How challenging was it putting your personal experience for the whole world to read?

We are Africans and Nigerians. We believe in keeping it all together. No one should see that your life is not perfect but I am here to change that. People should see you in your worst, which is how they can appreciate your success story. People should see you when you are down and under because you would still come up.

If you reach the bottom, there is only one place to go which is the top. We need to eradicate shaming people to silence, most especially women.

Women are held in high esteem. You can’t show to the world that you are heartbroken, you can’t show to the world that your marriage is not perfect, because people would look at you and think there is something wrong with you. But there is nothing wrong with that person. She is walking through life. She is becoming what she is supposed to be. It is important that we unmask ourselves, let go off this tradition because people die in silence.There is more to life than the shame.

When everything happened, did you blame yourself for it or were you bitter about it?

It was a journey, which is why I have written this piece of work. I was very honest about it in the book. We all go through different stages, we learn from them.
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With all your you went through, what is your perception about marriage?

It is a beautiful institution. I am not coming from a bitter place, you would accept what happened. For me, it might be a marriage, for the next person, it might be a sick child. The most important thing is what you do with what you learnt from the situation.

Would you like to give marriage a shot again?

Marriage is a beautiful thing. Next time we would be talking, I might be a married woman, who knows. Life is a journey. You are allowed to grow, it is a journey of growth, and be open, do what you are supposed to do when you are supposed to do it, so that you can learn from your mistakes, become who you are supposed to be.