Dear Mimster: Who should I believe? My daughter or her class teacher?
Please tell me, how do I handle this case as I’m terribly confused and do not know who to believe.
On Monday, my 5 year-old daughter told me that after going to the toilet at school, as she was pulling up her panties, one of her classmates touched her bum-bum and she removed his hand. I asked if she told her teacher, she said no. She said I should call her teacher and also call the boy’s mother because according to her, the boy’s mother is a teacher too.
I went outside and called her teacher to tell her what my daughter told me and also beg her to keep an eye on the kids because of things that happen these days. Only for the teacher to tell me it’s not possible because and the boy in question is a quiet boy.
When I went to pick her from school today, her teacher brought up the issue saying that she asked my daughter if her classmate touched her bumbum and she said no. I then asked my daughter to say what she told me at home in the presences of her teacher, but she couldn’t talk.. When we got home, I asked her again, she admitted that the boy touched her, and out of anger, I flogged her mercilessly for not admitting it in the presence of her teacher.
Please how do I handle this as I don’t know what to believe again? Could it be that my daughter is afraid of her teacher or did she actually lie to me. How do I handle it?
It will be better for you to believe your daughter,because she is not lying, what do you expect her to do infront of the teacher, she will be afraid of course, the teacher is just trying to protect the boy. Just encourage your daughter to talk, let her know that you will not allow the teacher to do anything for her, please still go back to the school and report the issue again so that your daughter can trust you that you can stand up for her, please believe your daughter, remember the boy is also one of their teachers child, remember if you don’t stand up for her today she might not tell you another one tomorrow, please try to understand your child, those teachers can be very funny
You did wrong by flogging your little girl. There’s no way she could have made up that story. She was afraid of the teacher, that was why she didn’t say anything in front of her. You need to visit her school again and defend your little girl in her presence or she will never trust you again. Go to the school, call the class teacher, the boy’s mother , the boy and your daughter.Do not let this issue due down , it needs to be addressed.
stop beating her!! Just believe your dota. why would she be lying o you? She could be intimidated at school by teacher….if possible change her school..
I totally agree with Bunma. Its unfortunate that our society shames a victim or makes the victim afraid to speak up. Teach your daughter self defence so that she can prevent the abuse from happening in the first place. Tell her to scream and run as loud and as fast as she can. For her age mates, like that boy, she can push him down with all her might to teach him and others a lesson. This is whhat I tell my 5year daughter. It’s helping us. Before then, draw her back to you. Full trust.
Believe your daughter please. That teacher must have scared her shitless hence she couldn’t talk in front of her.
I think you need to talk to your daughter in a lovely way for her to admit the right thing, she might be afraid of the Teacher…but never the less let the teacher keeps an eye on the children for Tue unexpected not to happen, he shouldn’t trust any of them irrespective of their temperament …thanks
u did wrong by beating her.d teacher could b intimidating her
You shouldn’t have beaten her. The teacher probably threatened her not to talk. She’s just five and if you do not defend her, she might just start bottling up things rather than confide in you.
Apologize to your daughter for beating her, you were wrong to have done that. Convince her that you are trustworthy and she can talk to you about anything, then ask her to tell you what happened on the day of the incident again and ask her what the teachers said to her after you reported the incident. Then talk to the teachers involved again. If they don’t corroborate her story, talk to their superiors. If nothing happens change schools for your girl and give her safety lessons on taking care of herself. If you do not know what to say to her check youtube, there are a lot of child safety videos there. All the best.
Flogging your daughter was just as good as victim shaming. Quite frankly, you let her down. I believe that the teacher intimidated her.
Please call her again and talk to her. Next time she May not open up to you if she’s scared both at home and at school.
It’s a salvageable situation though. Care and trust will help on future.
You shouldnt have beaten her,she would be afraid of telling you worse things because of the fear of punishment incase u dont trust her,which u just displayed.if I were in your shoes,i’d trust my daughter. Shez free with you as a mom,thats y she told you. Now that you have flogged her,you have to boost her confidence in you again,cause you just let her down.