Dear MIMsters: Why I Wished I Had Sex With my Dedicated Husband Before my Wedding?

I have been married since 2014. I met my dedicated husband through a Secondary School friend who happened to be her relation, It happened so fast and we got married after 6 months. Due to events in my previous relationship, I didn’t want to ever have sex until after my wedding.

After our wedding, I began to notice he wasn’t coming close for sex even when I try to lure him. It kept going on and I kept calm because he claimed to be under stress and whenever he’s under stress, he can’t have sex with any woman.

As time went on, I confronted him again, he begged that I should give him time, I really loved this man so I felt there was something I could do to help him become normal. I asked him to visit the hospital to know what is actually wrong with him, he told me he has and the doctor declared him normal, that his problem is due to mental stress.

Six months into our marriage and we managed to have sex and it clicked. I got pregnant and that period practically became the happiest period in my entire life. I started grooming my unborn child even while I begged him to have sex with me. It was still very difficult for him.

Nine months came and I had my baby boy through a cesarean section due to the fact that I wasn’t dilating well. After my baby’s arrival, each time I approach him for sex, he would tell me that I just had my baby that we need to give me time to heal. Twelve months passed and we still had no sex. I went all mad on him, said all kinds of things to him because I was so furious. I didn’t want my family or his family members to know so I kept it a secret, but it got to a point where I could no longer take it, so I involved my mother. She adviced me to go see his doctor friend and explain everything to him which I did. The doctor told me that it’s a psychological issue, that my husband has to make up his mind psychologically before he can pull through and that I should never abuse him because of this so he can be able to pull through. I agreed, came back home and did all what doctor asked me to do but there was still no change.

One thing that kept me going was the fact that he’s a very nice person who attends to most of my needs except for this one fault that I could no longer continue with. I went ahead to inform his elder sister because I’m human and have blood flowing through my veins. She was so shocked and promised to look into the issue.

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She called me later and said it midge tbe a spiritual wife issue. She confronted her brother and told him she went for spiritual counselling and that was what she was told. He was so shocked and tried to deny it. His sister told him it’s not something to deny that he needs to follow her for prayers.

The issue is that my child is a year and 5 months old and I have tried to lure him so I can get pregnant again but it’s not working at all. I pray alot and have handed everything to God but right now, I am tired and want to end the marriage because I cannot keep on practicing celibacy for the rest of my life and I never plan to cheat in my marriage. Please I need your advice.