Dear MIMsters: How Much More Should a Wife Take from Her Husband?

I’m 34 years old and my husband is 38. We have been married traditionally for almost 8 years now and I am a very troubled soul. I have really supported my husband since I got married but I have partially stopped after I realised he’s been abusing my support. I mean how much more should a wife take from her husband?

He takes vey big loans and when I ask him what he does with them, he will never tell the whole truth. All he says is that he’s spending it on educating his siblings and I would understand when he says that.

My problem started when his siblings finished their studies but he still continued taking big loans. When I asked him, instead of explaining, he told me to mind my business. I was not satisfied with the response so I raised the issued with his dad who advised him to take care of his family. By the look on her face, I could tell that his stepmother was not happy. That same night he beat me and apologized after a few days. Even though I forgave him, I was going leave him but my mother told me to reconsider my stance and I listened to her. He never provides for the family. He leaves me struggling with all the family’s needs. His usual response is that there’s no money.

Another issues is with the house helps. They are good when they arrive but after a few days, they become rude towards me and I am the one paying them. Whenever they become rude, I send them away. I have been putting up with this and now I am tired but I have a six month baby and I have to go to work.

Before they left, three of these girls said that my husband made advances towards them. Last week, I asked one for evidence and when I confronted my husband with it, he became very mad and beat me up. I had to send the girl in question away.

This is the second time he’s beating me and I have made up my mind to leave. I’m looking for a house as soon as I find one, I’m gone. This time my parents told me that they will support whatever decision I make. I feel so bad that this man has no respect for me. I need sound advice from mothers on this platform.