Dear MIMsters: My Cousin and I Are Both Pregnant for the Same Man

My parents are late, my three siblings and I relocated to the village where my dad’s younger brother is based with his own family and he has been the one taking care of us. I’m 23 years-old.

In the village, there’s this guy I’ve been crushing for all along, but could not walk up to him to let him know how I feel about him since it is believed that a woman who makes the first move cheapens herself. I just kept loving him, but we were good friends. He has an elder brother who was also my friend, but no stringes attached.

In 2011, the elder brother asked me out and I accepted since I couldn’t get his younger brother. I took it that I was seeing the youger brother in the elder brother, but I didn’t love the elder brother. 2014, was when I noticed the guy I love started developing feelings for me and he approached me. I told him I was already in a relationship with his elder brother, but he kept insisting. I finally accepted because he was the one I loved and pleaded with him to tell his elder brother we were in a relationship, but he refused saying it wasn’t necessary.

We continued with the relationship not until I found out that he was asking for my 19-year-old cousin’s hand in marriage and he never told me. Even my cousin never told me about it when she knew I was in a relationship with the guy. So I decided to quit and left them to continue. His brother later found out about us and I apologised to him and went on with my life.

Daniel (pseudo name) went to my uncle and told him he wanted to marry my cousin. I never stopped loving him and I never came in between his relationship with my cousin but we remained good friends. During the time we dated, we never had sex, cos he told me he was still a virgin, but will lose it on his wedding night. I told him I was not because I don’t hide anything from him.

I got into relationships I never enjoyed because I didn’t love them. I once took in for a guy I dated and when he denied it, I had to abort the pregnancy and stayed clear off relationships. Not until last year January, Daniel came back again telling me that he didn’t like the way we separated and wants to give me his virginity as his a parting gift but I totally refused. He kept coming to me and each time I ask him why he left me for my cousin, he would apologise but won’t say anything apart from it’s in the past.

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He finally had his way in May 2016 and since then till date we been dating and having sex. In September 2016, I took in for him and decided to keep the pregnancy. I decided to go away from home until I put to bed. I didn’t know my cousin was also pregnant for him. I was shattered when I got to know about it and he pleaded with me to abort my pregnancy. I finally accepted so that my cousin could continue with hers peacefully since he has already proposed marriage to her. I made it clear to him it was on account of cousin I decided to abort it.

Now my cousin has put to bed, yet each time I tell him that I am no longer interested in the relationship, he keeps telling me not to give up on him that he loves me and can’t do without me, yet we can’t be together. He even told me that once I get married he’ll make me have his child, cos he loves me so much and I love him too. I don’t know what to do about all this. I don’t want any issues with my family because of this. My family doesn’t know anything about all that has been going on between us. I even told him him about the first abortion I had for him but he never bore any grudges about it.

Right now, I need advice on what to do. I want my own man who will love me and who will be everything to me.