Dear MIMsters: How Do I Handle My Friend’s Entitlement Mentality?

Please I have an issue with my friend who has this entitlement mentality. Last year, we were facing accommodation problems together and I suggested we find who to borrow money from to pay for a new place, she said NEVER, that she’s too dignified for that and she walked out on me, there and then.

I finally got a place with a senior friend (a mother who understood I needed her help) promising to pay the landlady later.

When I finally paid, my friend met me and lightly said “if I have half of the rent now, I’ll just give you and move in this week”. We never even discussed staying together. She just felt I had no choice than to take her in but I told her NO and she was stranded after she got kicked out twice by those she was squatting with. She didn’t have any money so she came to my house, crying. I took her in and she started this again.

We cook separately because that’s what she wanted but whenever I cook, she wants to eat mine. Her soups can last a month in the freezer. She sometimes goes to hide them in another person’s room while I cook every week. I was shocked when she brought out soup of over three weeks yesterday.

She makes it a habit to have two soups and asking me for my one, especially in front of people. When I say no she calls me stingy. There is no time I don’t hear I’m stingy and she likes saying it in front of others. I don’t want to embarrass her so I don’t counter it but yesterday, she had stew and two soups. I cooked something very small according to what I had and she said the soup was too small and the next thing she said she wanted some, as usual I give her soup every time I cook fresh food.
But yesterday, I told her no because she had two soups and stew stocked up in someone’s room. I can’t count the times she’s eaten my stuffs and tell me I can always cook it again, meanwhile she has her own food stocked in other people’s fridge.

I don’t know how to handle this cause I don’t like embarrassing someone cause of something as essential as food. I am squatting this girl for free in a place I paid expensively for but she keeps saying I don’t give her enough.

I am someone who if my friend needs help, I don’t wait to be asked because I would feel guilty if I don’t do something but in this case, she doesn’t. Whenever I say no to outrageous request, she says “no problem. One day we’ll see”. Imagine someone giving out her things to her friends and saying they can have it because she knows I have and I’ll share mine with her. As I got back from school, she told me she gave her stuffs to our colleagues knowing that I have so we’ll both use mine. She’s just feels like I have no right to say no.

A typical example is the day we had electrical issues, she said my last 5K should be used. I asked her about her 35K and she said it’s for savings not to be spent. She’s not from any rich family, she doesn’t contribute to things but she puts on so much airs and nothing you give her is up to what she thinks she deserves.

We were stranded somewhere at night, I called a guy I know to come get us. She said that the guy’s car is not classy, that I should call my mother who was in town for a conference to bring her car if not, she’s not entering. I ran in and left her there so she joined in. I later asked her if her parents have a car and she said no. I just kept quiet and wondered what is wrong. I am tired.