Dear MIMsters: I Really Want to Further My Education but I’m Afraid of Losing Him
I’m a lady of 25 year old single mom, I’m a medical laboratory technician by profession and would really like to further my education.
I’ve been dating this guy for about 2 years now who he will be 33 years old this year. He’s also a single dad though his son lives with his in-laws.
For the second time last year, he was denied a visa. I was aware of his plans because he made me his partner. So when that one didn’t work out, he asked us to do our introduction this year and wants us to settle down.
SEE ALSO:Dear MIMster: He Gave Me the Ultimatum to Choose Between Him and My Degree
Due to the money I earn, my elder brother advised me to further my education and promised to financially support me. I told my guy who said 5 years is too long a time for him to wait. He told me to change my course to one that I can do in Lagos. But what is available here is a part time one.
When I said no, he then said that he’s tired of the relationship and that I’m too stubborn. He said that it means I don’t love him enough and I’m self centered. Because of this, I stopped allowing him to have sex me since January. That made him even more angry. He said I should have told him I can’t marry him again rather than this.
As for me, I’ve started the processing my admission and I’ve even bought the direct entry form but I’m afraid of losing him. I don’t know what to do again. Has anyone been in my shoes before?
Better go to school and further. This same man after marriage might change and you will start regretting your actions. Now you have someone willing to sponsor you, take the opportunity now.
The right man would love you to the extent that he would want you to achieve your dreams,anyperson who loves you will want u to grow to whatever height,ask God for guidance and he will give you one who truly deserves you
Your case is a little peculiar becos there are many other factors you will need to consider…I sense you’re a little too independent for the kind of man he is, for him to complain about it at this stage, be sure that if you dont pipe-down a little,youre likely to hear more of such complaint if you marry him. My husband always says: a strong, independent, bold woman, requires a special kind of breed for a husband. So please if you know that fits your description, be careful the kind of man you say yes to,becos while a man may not voice much of his complaints about you now, just becos he is trying to ‘woo’ you, be sure he will use your acts against you later in life,& you may cry. So you’ll need to check that.
Also bear in mind that he is not wrong telling you that he cant wait 5yrs for you,he is 33 this year,when do you want him to settle & start raising a proper family?, its now left for you to weigh your whole relationship with him; how you both relate, if you both respect & accept each other, how he accepts your child,if you can have his child live with you both (if it will ever get to that )etc, check all of these to see if its worth it or not…& make your decision.
I dont mean to slight you in any way,just airing my view so you could also think outside the box…
I pray you find happiness in life.Amen.
You’re better off educated with a better job, husband will come that will meet your standard.
My dear, you have a good job, a man ready to marry you and you want to drop all these to go and pursue a five year degree. Furthering your education doesn’t guarantee you a job or husband. Pls settle for the part time course, get married and keep your job if you truly love him.