Dear MIMsters: I Said ‘No’ to my Baby Daddy who Abandoned us and His Wife
I am a single mother of a 9-year old girl. Since my baby was 6 months old, her father abandoned us.
I struggled alone to see me and my daughter through school without any financial or moral assistance from her dad or even my parents. This is apart from my best friend who has been a pillar of support to me.
To the glory of God, I’m now serving and at 9-years old, my daughter will be going to JSS 1 this September.
I have suffered all these years, such that when I was unable to provide for my daughter, I cried. Sometimes, I get scared that I may not be able to see her through secondary school but I solidly believe in God that he will see me through.
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To the glory of God, my child has always come first or second in her class and I am proud of her and also grateful to God.
Meanwhile, when my child was still very little, anytime, I called upon her father to ask for help, he would tell me that he has no money and that I should manage on my own.
This would make me cry and cry and cry. This is a guy who works in a bank. Yet, so many nights, my daughter and I would go to bed without food. The money I get from making hair was not even enough to pay for my house rent, feeding, school fees, clothing and the rest, but her dad would be seen flaunting and spending on other girls.
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My life became a life of sorrow and pains. I had her when I was running a diploma program and I was still not up to 20 years at that time.
My daughter’s father is now married to a woman who comes from his village and they have 3 kids.
When my child was about completing her primary school, her uninvolved dad and his wife came to me to request that I allow my daughter come live with them so they can sponsor her through Secondary School to reduce the burden on me.
I was so angry that I told them that now that they are looking for a house help, they now remember their is a child somewhere they can use. They promised me they will not use her as a househelp but I told her dad if he really wants to be a part of her life, he can be sending money to my account for her upkeep. Since then, I haven’t hear form him again.
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My point is, with all the stories I hear everyday about how step parents maltreat their step children, God forbid I allow them take my child after all I have gone through with her. What do you think about my decision?
I salute your brave heart, you are a strong woman indeed and a very principled one at that. You have done the toughest part which was seeing her through primary and going to school yourself. Please stick with your daughter cos she’s the best thing you have right now, don’t allow anyone take her anywhere in the name of helping you ease burden.RUBBISH!!!!!
Dont give in to their request if he is after educating his daughter let him send the money to you.God who has seen you through wont forsake you now.
To hell with his ease burden
My dear don’t ever make the mistake of sending your daughter to them before you will hear stories that touch.I know of a case personally where the child went on a short visit to his father and step mother was branded a wizard and murdered brutally in the process of a so called exorcism. The poor boy was 7 yrs old.The God who has helped you so far will be able to see you through.
Pls don’t let go of your child. Continue managing with her. If he really wants to help you let him pay her school fees directly to the school account and send you a stipend for her upkeep.
You can request for your family members and pastor to settle the matter. You surely need assistance, so that she can have a better life and lighten your burden.
It’s OK my dear God will see u through. Since the child is brilliant, start applying for any available scholarship and by God’s grace,She may be fortunate to get one and the burden will be lessen for you
Pls stick wit ur decision, may God contn 2 provide 4 ur needs, am equally facing d same tyn at a tym i just stop calling or asking him 4 cash, keep d first n hold onto ur futue(child)
Please let your daughter stay with you, you have come this far without him. If he wants to be involved in his child’s life, then he should do it from a distance. She can go for holidays, but living with them, is a big no…
What you did is right.may God help and protect your daughter
wise woman
They guy is an asshole, don’t even collect her fees from him at all. Later he would say he raised her and be bragging nonsense, leave him alone, cut off all sorts of communication with him, don’t even let your daughter know he exists. God will help you I’m sure. Some men are bastards I swear. Keep up the good work and teach your daughter not to get involved with men like her father. Please no carry your pikin give them oo. God bless you
Don’t try it pls.