Dear MIMsters: I Said ‘No’ to my Baby Daddy who Abandoned us and His Wife

I am a single mother of a 9-year old girl. Since my baby was 6 months old, her father abandoned us.

I struggled alone to see me and my daughter through school without any financial or moral assistance from her dad or even my parents. This is apart from my best friend who has been a pillar of support to me.

To the glory of God, I’m now serving and at 9-years old, my daughter will be going to JSS 1 this September.

I have suffered all these years, such that when I was unable to provide for my daughter, I cried. Sometimes, I get scared that I may not be able to see her through secondary school but I solidly believe in God that he will see me through.

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To the glory of God, my child has always come first or second in her class and I am proud of her and also grateful to God.

Meanwhile, when my child was still very little, anytime, I called upon her father to ask for help, he would tell me that he has no money and that I should manage on my own.

This would make me cry and cry and cry. This is a guy who works in a bank. Yet, so many nights, my daughter and I would go to bed without food. The money I get from making hair was not even enough to pay for my house rent, feeding, school fees, clothing and the rest, but her dad would be seen flaunting and spending on other girls.

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My life became a life of sorrow and pains. I had her when I was running a diploma program and I was still not up to 20 years at that time.

My daughter’s father is now married to a woman who comes from his village and they have 3 kids.

When my child was about completing her primary school, her uninvolved dad and his wife came to me to request that I allow my daughter come live with them so they can sponsor her through Secondary School to reduce the burden on me.

I was so angry that I told them that now that they are looking for a house help, they now remember their is a child somewhere they can use. They promised me they will not use her as a househelp but I told her dad if he really wants to be a part of her life, he can be sending money to my account for her upkeep. Since then, I haven’t hear form him again.

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My point is, with all the stories I hear everyday about how step parents maltreat their step children, God forbid I allow them take my child after all I have gone through with her. What do you think about my decision?