Dear MIMsters: Learn From My Story that Submission is not Foolishness
I have always thought being a submissive wife was the key to marital happiness. We were taught at home and at church to submit to our husbands as the head of the home. What we forget is that it is not foolishness.
So when I got married 8 years ago, submission to my husband was my watchword. I made sure that I submitted to him in everything as it was expected of me.
My husband word was like Law in my home. I was always afraid to challenge him because I didn’t want to be that unsubmissive wife. Even if I was dead tired and he wanted sex, I could not deny him sex.
SEE ALSO:Dear MIMsters: Why Did Hubby Hide this Detail From Me? Could There Be Something Else He’s Hiding?
Even when my husband made me make him a signatory to my account and asks for my check book or ATM card I could not say no. I could not deny him when he asked me to help his unqualified siblings get jobs in the company where I work.
My career has been going well and I have climbed to a very high position in my profession. I was given an official car and a driver. Without telling me, my husband withdrew money from my account and purchased a brand new car and employed a driver.
I almost collapsed when I saw the sum of N6.5 million leave my account to pay an auto dealer. I thought my account had been hacked. It was when he drove the jeep home later that day that it all made sense.
As if that wasn’t enough, he uses that car that he bought with my hard earned money to drive about with different kinds of women. He is a confirmed and an unrepentant womaniser.
But then again, I have now learnt that submission is not another word for stupidity, naivety, foolishness and indulgence. It’s took me a while to get to this point but I am changing. I am thinking of setting limits and boundaries for my husband because I am tired of being taken for a fool.
SEE ALSO:Dear MIMsters: I Think I Have Endured Enough and Deserve to Have a Divorce
I will be back to share my journey with you. Watch this space.
Maybe I tell you how to deal with him. You have to first block his access to your accounts. You open a new account and withdraw all the money in the other account he withdraws from. If you have been contributing to the housekeeping fund you need to stop. Don’t add a penny . Don’t also contribute to the rent even if the landlord gives you quit notice don’t be concerned about being thrown out. Pls don’t help with children school fees too. If he starts fighting you, tell him to go and sell the car and use the money to pay for all those things.
As for his womanizing lifestyle, you have to let him know you are aware of all his escapes and if he doesn’t stop you are quitting.
I believe that by the time he starts taking up his responsibility as a husband he will not have any money left to be spent on women.
Pls spend your money on yourself. Go on holiday, shopping spree, change your wardrobe, join a gym and enjoy your life!
Is it that people fail to see the part where the Bible says submit one to another before it further admonished the woman to be submissive? What am i saying even? We are in Nigeria where most men have partial blindness to places like that in the Bible. My dear submission is not stupidity please stay woke. Nuff said…
Marriage is love and respect,to be submissive is all round,this is not marriage,if your husband don’t know how to love and respect,then withdraw your submissive,you are not a doll he can play with and throw away and off course such men will end up messing your life up.You know what, just change all your financial documents,remove him as your next of kin and a signatory to your accounts,change your ATM pin right away,your “submissive” don do.
Really high time,….u have condoned nonsense too much,buy car with my own money. hmmmm,nawa o
u are thinking or u have set limits.Thank God u have received sense
Submission is very different from stupidity. Madam ask God to give you wisdom to deal with this madness.
May this sense you have receieved remain permanent in your life.
Dont ever be stupidbto think a man like this changes . In Africa we have taken marriage to be a death sentence where women often times loses their individuality and senses.
Thank God this happened while you are young and still working and thus have a chance to rebuild financially.
First of all, open a new and different account for your salaries and all income. Save your money where he cannot access.
If you can, block him as a signatory to your present account.
If you are disposed to it, you can still put some input into running your home since you and your kids do not need to suffer.
Have a deep reflection within yourself, have a heart to heart talk with him and set boundaries.
He may react badly but prepare for the storm and be firm.
Submission is definitely foolishness.
All the best.