6 Things Families Who Live Far Away From Close Relatives Deal With

Building and raising a family far away from close relatives comes with its challenges. Couples find themselves living far away from their families mainly because of economic challenges, career opportunities or their marriage itself.

They have to make careful plans before they can physically meet or see some of their relatives again. Couples, especially moms have to go through some pretty tough reorientation just to keep up with their new life-routine.

Here are some of the things they have to understand and take into consideration as they raise their families far from other relatives.

“Free” Childcare Is Almost Impossible

Usually, moms can call on younger siblings, cousins or even their mothers to help take care of the children while they work or carry on their businesses. This is not the case when they are living far away from those family members. They either have to multitask, make sacrifices or employ babysitters whose services have to be paid for.

2. Expensive to Attend Family Events

You want to attend your nephew’s first birthday in Ibanda, your mums 60^thbirthday in Enugu or your favourite sister’s baby shower in Abuja, and you live in Lagos? It’s either going to be a long drive or an expensive plane ticket for the whole family. Sometimes there’s a decision to not go at all. This causes some emotional distress on the family members and the mom’s.

3. Your Children May Not Know Their ‘Roots’

Even when you can get together with those close but distant relatives, you notice or feel that your children are not connected to their roots. You fear that they feel like strangers or are perceived as strangers. You almost always have to say, “Naomi, do you remember Uncle Kachi?” whenever you meet. This might be a perceived an unrealistic problem, but it’s something to consider.

4. Always Doubting the Decision to Relocate

Whenever you miss your relatives or make a decision to miss another family event, you start wondering if it was the best decision to move out here. You might also keep entertaining thoughts to move closer to family but the logistics are just too much. You push the thought out of your mind until you start missing hanging out with your favourite cousin again.

5. The Pains of Saying Goodbye

Whenever you take the kids over to see Grandma, or to spend the holidays with Aunt Alero, everything seems rushed. Going to see old friends and just hanging out is fun that’s never enough and then you have to leave, just as the kids are starting to settle down. You can’t help but feel guilty.

One Advantage Though…

You can choose to make decisions without any interference from other relatives. Yeah, they can consult with their in-laws or siblings if they want to but the final decision can be made and carried out without any objections.

After all is said and done, families will eventually get used to living their lives far from their relatives. The good news about these things is that technology will make it possible for them to see each other via Skype, Facebook or some other social media platform that supports video calls. This sort of shortens the distance, but sadly, it’s still there.