Dear MIMsters: Should I Confront My Mum Over This or Let it Go?
It’s lengthy but will keep it as brief as possible. Should I confront my mum or let it go?
I went to my parent’s house announced. The generator was running so my mum didn’t hear me coming. What I saw shocked me.
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I caught my mum having sex with a man in the living room. She didn’t see me but the man saw me. I went back to the door and knocked as if nothing happened. My mum welcomed, pretending as if nothing happened.
My mum and dad have been separated for 4 years but not divorced. He just happens to live elsewhere. I pretended as if I saw nothing but the man was ashamed of himself. I couldn’t spend up to a second longer, so I left crying.
When I got home, I told my husband everything I saw.
This was the same woman who brought us the Christian and Godly way. But since she opened her restaurant and started making money, she has turned into something else. It was better for me not to have seen her that way because I can’t get it out of my head.
I should not have told hubby because hubby wants to travel out for greener pastures and think I might behave the same way when he is outside the country. What if he uses it to insult me or my mum in future? Hubby wants me to confront my mum and tell her it’s not right to bring a man to her husband’s house.
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When I got pregnant out of wedlock, my mum disgraced me even when she knew my husband was making arrangements for us to get married. I can’t get this image out of my head. I really wish I never saw them. Should I confront my mum as hubby said? Hubby said he would talk to her if I can’t. Or should I tell my dad or call a family meeting or just let it go?
Why would you tell your dad? I mean they are separated. What’s to say your dad is not doing same? If you want to talk about this, confront your mom yourself. She’s an adult and can have sex I don’t see the big deal. I have a problem with you suggesting to call a family meeting or involving your dad. Do you want her to be tagged a whore? Do you know if this is the first time? Please confront her like your hubby said.
You got embarrassed because you saw them. Not that its a big deal. Separation for 4 years is more like a divorce just that its not official. Your mom is human and has her own needs too just like any other woman. You don’t need to tell your dad about it if no body is making any efforts to reconcile the both of your parent. From your information it seems both your parent has both parted ways for good and if this is the case then don’t take what you saw as a big deal, permit me to say your dad might be doing just the same thing you saw with your mom,you ain’t shock yet because he hasn’t been caught in the act too. If this is the case its very normal, I believe they are both moving on after four years of separation. If you are not comfortable with it then its either they file for divorce officially so both parties can conveniently do what they want or something is done urgently to reconcile the both of them. The only reason you may have a problem with your mom and make it a big deal is when you are sure she has more than one sex partner, You have to do your investigation thoroughly to ensure this, if the man you saw is the only man in the picture then I don’t see much of a problem. Then you can sit your mom down and tell her what you saw and the way forward in her relationship with the man.
Your mum is an adult and owes u no explanation. I can understand if she is still with your dad but the are separated. She entitled to have a relationship as long as she is not disgracing the family by having multiple partners. Either you make an effort to reconcile them or u leave her alone. She is a woman and a human being.
Since the man saw you, and knew that you saw them, it’s likely he’ll tell your mom. This might make your job easier if you wanna talk to your mom about it.
My dear, everyone of us will feel same as you ok but try as much as you can to get it off your chest. When you’re calmer den you can confront her in a respectful manner. She has de right to mingle with someone else but not doing so in de same house she once shared with her estranged husband.