Relationship After a Divorce: Dos and Don’ts

Ogbugoh Terundu Joy

Dating after a long period can be exciting yet nerve wracking. You’ve been out of the game for a while so it’s easy to feel confused and awkward but we’ve got you! Follow our five dos and don’ts guide to dating after a divorce and you are sure to be rocking that boat like you never left!

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DOS….

1. Take Your Time: Do take your time. Divorces are never easy, It’s always a rough patch to go through, so you would need time to heal and pull yourself together emotionally. Work on your flaws so that you do not go into another relationship emotionally unstable and carrying over the mistakes you may have made in your last relationship.

2. Be Willing to Explore: Change is constant. Maybe back then, people met each other through recommendations or coincidentally in public places, these days, online dating is in and many people have met their soulmates on dating sites and on social media. Be willing to explore the present dating methods available, you just never know.

3. Be Honest: There is no point hiding the fact that you are a divorcee or you already have a child. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Be honest about who you are and let them like you for who you are.

4. Trust Your Intuition: Listen to your gut feeling. Don’t let the fear of growing old alone make you desperate to settle for less than what you deserve. If something does not feel right about this new person, follow your lead, listen to your gut feeling and your head. Make objective decisions and do not let emotions guide you. If you do, you might be headed for a catastrophe and regrets.

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DON’TS….

1. Don’t Talk So Much About Your Ex: Going on and on about your ex is a no-no! Don’t trash talk him and don’t reminisce about the life you both shared either, no man wants to really hear all that.

2. Don’t Pretend To Be Someone Else: Be yourself. Pretending to be someone else may get you the man/woman but it won’t keep them because you won’t be able to keep up the charade forever. Whoever you are, however you are, stay true to yourself, your beliefs, your likes, your dislikes, and you are sure to attract the right person for you. If you have to change to be good enough for someone then you would keep altering yourself until one day, you would look in the mirror and not recognize who you have become anymore.

3. Don’t Be Quick to Bring them Around Your Kids: Resist the urge to bring the man/woman you are dating around your children until the relationship is serious enough to. This way, your children will not be exposed to strange men/women which can be sometimes confusing and scary for a child.

4. Don’t Rush: Loneliness is hard but know it is wiser to take things slow. Baby steps, they say. New relationships are exciting, but don’t get carried away. Do not make hasty decisions during this rush of excitement and commit too quickly to avoid disappointments that could have been avoided. Study him/her before making life changes decisions and commitments.

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5. Don’t Let Your Past Relationships Define You: No matter what it is that you may have gone through, do not let it get in the way of you finding happiness again. Do not punish a man/woman who likes you for the mistakes of your ex.