Dear MIMsters: How Do I Tame My Wife So We Can Have the Kind of Marriage My Parents Had?

How do I tame my wife so that we can have the kind of marriage my parents have?

“Daniel, women can’t be trusted with running the affairs of a home and as the husband, you must always be in charge. You are never to relinquish decision making to your wife because women are not to be given too much liberty; even the bible calls them the weaker vessel. God made them weaker than us so that we can rule over them especially in the union of marriage so you must be in charge at all times. If you fail to be in charge of the affairs of your home, your wife will step in, take you for granted and abuse the liberty you may be giving her by being docile, so be in charge!”

That was my father counseling us on our wedding night. My mum sat right next to him as he spoke to my new wife and I. He paused briefly to look at my mum to get a witness and she smiled at him and nodded as if to give credence to what her husband was saying. I checked Annie who knelt beside me but she didn’t seem pleased with what my father was saying to us.

My father continued,

“Your mother and I have been together for more than 30 years as you know and these things I am saying to you and Annie have kept us going. You must love your wife very much; you must never cheat on her with any other woman. You must be the sole provider for your home. If it means having multiple sources of income, my son, do! Did you hear me?! Do not encourage your wife to have too many friends. Friends would always mislead a woman. If you can afford it, let her stay back to raise good children for you but if she desires to take up a job, then you must ensure that she does not accept any job that will place her above you or a job that will make her earn more than you. If you allow it, it will make it difficult for her to submit to you; wives who earn more than their husbands take their husbands for granted. God asked that wives submit to their husbands in everything, do you both understand me?”

We nodded!

He turned to Annie and dished some words of wisdom to her, too.

My father is a pastor and a great one at that. He is successful on all fronts and many people come to our home to seek counsel from him. I have never seen nor heard my mother go against my father’s words. His words are adhered to strictly by my mother who also ensures that we the children follow suit. I grew up in a very peaceful home.

“Ensure to love your wife whole heartedly and be in charge over your home affairs.” Daddy concluded. He prayed for us and set us on our way.

We thanked him and we hurriedly left for our honeymoon.

In personality, Annie is dominantly Choleric while I am Melancholy. There are times I would love to be on my own but Annie wouldn’t let me be. She wants me to talk to her all of the time. She wants to know everything on my mind per time. She wants to know about every decision I take or intend to take but I cannot tell her. My parents’ marriage is great! I want what they have but Annie wouldn’t let us have it. She complained bitterly about my father’s advice all through our honeymoon. As a matter of fact, we disagreed more than we agreed all through our honeymoon. Now, we are back to our home and I intend to heed my father’s advice but Annie would not let me be. She keeps threatening me with divorce. She says she wants to be in the know of all that happens in our home and in my life. Who does that? Daddy says I should love her and I really do but she is beginning to drive me nuts!

How do I tame my wife so that we can have the kind of marriage my parents have?