Dear MIMsters: I’m Willing to Make it Work With My Wife But She Now Has Other Interests

I’m not a mother but a father who has been battling with the issue of lack of intimacy in my marriage. I have not had sex with my wife for about 3 years now. I am willing to make things work with my wife but it seems to me that she has other interests.

It started when I used to exchange inappropriate messages with other women and I was unfaithful to my wife. This made my wife to shut me out and that lasted for sometime. To be fair to her, she did tell me that once she gets to that point where she no longer cares, then intimacy will become a problem.

Now I have stopped exchanging inappropriate messages and cheating and anything that has to do with the opposite sex especially stuffs that will upset her, but she still has not been able to come out of it.

It is not easy because not having sex is affecting me and I fear if it continues, I may not be able to hold it together. I have begged and suggested counseling but she is not interested.

Recently, I noticed that she has been chatting with a certain man and it is almost leading to an affair. The truth is even if I don’t know if she has stopped, I’m willing to work it out. Please advise me on what to do because I’m really losing it and I don’t want to go back to cheating on her. I just want to make things work again between us because right now we seem cool but it’s like she is more interested in the other man who is equally married.