Dear MIMsters: Will I Be Opening Up An Old Wound If I Ask Him For Forgiveness?

Will I be opening up an old wound if I ask him for forgiveness?

In 2014, I got pregnant for a soldier whom I was in love with. In fact, I practically accepted to carry his baby even though we were not married because I loved him so much and he loves me too. The problem is he is a chronic womanizer.

I endured him throughout my pregnancy. I loved and lived with him until he sent me to his parents in the village where I gave birth to a baby girl. His mom never helped me nor my baby with a bath not even for one day. I did all by myself. I really suffered in that village while he was busy packing women. He already had 2 kids with two different women before I took in for him but I never knew until later.

I returned to live with him but he continued to hurt me. This went on until 2016 when I was fed up and was looking for a way to leave. Somewhere along the line, I cheated on him with a guy I met at work and then I told him about it. He was so mad that he nearly stabbed me that day. He chased me out of his house without my baby. I begged and begged and only accepted later after neighbors joined me to beg him.

This could have been an opportunity for us to go our separate ways but he took my baby to his girlfriend’s place. I reported him to his commander who asked him to bring the baby back to me. Luckily for me, he was transferred to another state. He asked me to follow him but I told him to go first, that I will come later.

This was how I packed my things and left with my baby to an unknown destination. One day, he called me and asked me to move something to the garage because the government wanted to renovate the base. That was when I told him I couldn’t because I had traveled home. He got angry and told me it’s over.

I was so happy but he called back and begged me and said he was sorry. I told him, no, it’s over. He went to my house thinking I was there and made a lot of trouble with my parents, threatening them to bring me out or he will burn down the house.

Months later, I heard he was married. I was happy and moved on. I got married in 2017 to a man who did not care about my past and loved me unconditionally. When he heard I was about to wed, he called and begged me not to but I ignored him and changed my sim card. He sent me a message saying that he wanted to see his daughter. I told him that he will see her after my wedding but he refused and started laying curses on me. I ignored him.

After my wedding, I told him that I want him to see his daughter only if he will start taking responsibilities. He refused and said as long as he lives, he will never forgive me and will always hold this grudge against me. Since I got married, I always dream of him chasing me like he is after my life. He offended me and I offended him too but I don’t hold any grudge against him. I have been thinking of calling him to beg him to forgive me. I want to make peace with him. Will I be doing the right thing or do you think it will open up an old wound afresh?