Dear MIMsters: I Thought My Childhood Friend’s Marriage Was All Rosy Until This Happened (Part One)

Why are we women never truthful with ourselves? Why are we so full of deceits? I thought my childhood friend’s marriage was all rosy. She led me into thinking so.

Rita and I were childhood friends. We attended the same primary school, got transferred to the same secondary school but parted when it was time to go to the university. Our universities were in same state anyways, so we were still very much in touch.

We did virtually everything together; we started dating at about the same time, too.

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There are no secrets between us; or so I thought.

After our NYSC programme, Dele proposed to me but I delayed a bit in accepting his proposal. It wasn’t because I didn’t love Dele enough to marry him but because I felt bad that Rita’s boyfriend, who obviously was in a better place financially than Dele; hadn’t proposed to her yet.

My concern was how unfeeling it would look if I accepted a proposal without putting my friend into consideration. I asked Dele to give me more time and he agreed.

“Hello, Babes. How are you doing today? Na work no make you call me since morning?” I said to Rita immediately she answered my call.

“Hey, baby moi!” She exclaimed. “No vex abeg.” Na this my new oga dey show himself.”

That was always the tone of our chats. We play hard, we cry together and we love ourselves deeply. We were soul mates.

I told her about Dele’s proposal and my asking him for more time. She asked me why I did so, and I told her I would wait till George proposed to her.

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Rita congratulated me and told me to go ahead. She said hers would come and she did not think it was right for me to delay. She even scared me that I shouldn’t make Dele look elsewhere.

About 2 months later, George also proposed and we got married a month interval.

We took our closeness into marriage. Our husbands were doing well and all seem well until I started observing my husband’s infidelity. I shared my findings with my friend and she advised me to not let it slide. She encouraged me to confront Dele about what I found out which I did. Dele apologized and promised to break his affair with his side chick. I told Rita and she asked that I should still be on the lookout so that he doesn’t catch me unawares again. I follow Rita’s advice on all issues because she’s always been the smarter of the two of us.

However, I observed that unlike the way I shared my marital issues with Rita, she never discusses hers with me. When I pointed that fact out to her, she told me that with all the problems I was facing in my own marriage, that she didn’t think it would be fair if she begins to brandish her ‘sweet’ marriage in my eyes. I told her that I appreciated her concern for me but that nevertheless, her joy was mine so she should not feel bad that her own marriage is sweet; I demanded that she gist me about her marriage.

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She told me how responsible George was. How he showers her with money and gifts. How he has never cheated on her and how she has the passwords to phones, social media accounts, his ATM card pin etc.

Even though I envied her, I was happy for her; truly happy for her.

Then the day came when I caught Dele red-handed with that same girl he was cheating on me, with. I caught them in his car by the side of the road. I was livid! I called Rita immediately and when she picked, it seemed like she was crying. I asked her if she was crying and she told me she wasn’t, that she had cold. Then I told her what I caught Dele doing. She was angry. She screamed on the phone and asked me to take back my dignity or else Dele would forever take me for a fool.