Dear MIMsters: Why I Won’t Support Abortion of a Baby Conceived By Rape

I want to thank you for giving people from different walks of life the opportunity to share their stories without being chastised. None of your stories have moved me as much as the story of the girl who conceived by rape. It moved me to tears. I want to tell my story and try to encourage her.

My life has been a dilemma. First of all, I was raped by a close family member. Not once but several times. Thankfully, I didn’t get pregnant. Unfortunately, the case was swept under carpet by extended family members though my parents, especially my mother tried to get the culprit punished. There’s so much a parent can do so as not to ruin their child in the process of seeking justice.

Years later, I got pregnant. I had began having sex out of spite. In my mind, there was no use of keeping chaste when my virginity was not intact. When I got pregnant, I was annoyed and scared. I wanted to keep the baby but I feared that those who said the rape was my fault would jubilate that I am pregnant. (Who accuses a 12 year old of being the cause of a rape anyway?).

I was convinced by the guy responsible to abort it and I eventually did so, willingly. I was devastated. I began having dreams about a baby crying and looking at me with accusing eyes. I almost went mad. I got through it though.

Not long after. I was accosted by two strangers on my way home at night and was raped. AGAIN! I asked myself why me? Then I got pregnant. And to those who asked the lady why she didn’t use contraceptive after the rape, I used a contraceptive. But some pregnancies can’t be stopped. Besides, after being raped, no one thinks about contraceptives immediately, with all the pain.

Anyway, I still got pregnant and I decided to keep it. I felt guilty about the first one and I definitely didn’t want to go through two babies in my dream. Unfortunately, I lost it too. I cried my eyes out. But one would think, why was I sad about a pregnancy that resulted from rape. I didn’t even know the two men, not to talk of knowing which one of them was responsible for the pregnancy.

In my heart though, I knew that child was just 10% of its father. The remaining 90% was me. Everything that was needed to make it living was from my body. I knew a man’s seed doesn’t always mean pregnancy until the woman’s body is ready. I know scientists might argue about this logic of mine, but it made sense to me. And because of that, I loved the baby so much. I was excited. And was sad when I lost it.

All these my plenty talk is to tell you my sister, that baby is more of you than of him. It’s your creation by God. It is difficult, but you can do it. I only wish it had survived, maybe then I could have told you how wonderful I feel to be its mother. I am still young, I’m not even yet 25. But your child has an aunty in me. I would love to get connected to you. To be your friend even though we are strangers. But weren’t all friends once strangers?

I want to encourage you, that even if you won’t keep it when it’s born, you can give it up for adoption. If you are interested in my friendship I am sure @MIM would make it happen. Because what every woman need at this time is someone to talk to. I love you all.