10 Signs That You Are Too Tough On Your Child

Ogbugoh Terundu Joy

Are you wondering if just maybe, you are too tough on your child? Here are 10 signs that you are probably going too hard on your little one.

1. You Nag All The Time. It is almost difficult for an African mother not to yell or nag for that matter. The economy is hard enough and the weather just keeps everyone on edge. However, it is important to learn to communicate with your child subtly. Nagging confuses, scares and freaks children out.

2. You Use Abusive Words Like “stupid!” “idiot!” These are not words to label your child with. Children believe the words you speak to them even when you don’t mean it. Your words can either make or break them. Stop labelling, cursing and swearing at your children.

3. You Compare Your Child With Others. No child likes this, and no, it doesn’t “motivate”, rather, it saddens or sometimes make them resentful. Give your child a break, and focus more on their efforts more than on the outcome. Your child may not be the smartest in Math but may be the best in Arts. Build on that and celebrate their efforts.

4. You Don’t Compliment Her Enough. Whoever said compliments spoil a child lost me completely. No, praising your child over every effort and milestone would not “spoil” them but would motivate them to do more just to hear you say those words to again and see that pride light up in your eyes.

5. He/She Is Afraid Of You. When you are in the living room, he goes into his room. When you are in the room, he leaves for the living room. He avoids spending too much time around you, and struggles to have a conversation with you.

If your child is this way with you, then you should be worried. It is calls for concern when your child find it difficult to express themselves when they are with you.

6. She Lies To You. Yes, children say a little white lies now and then, but if she feels the need to constantly lie to you over everything no matter how minute, then it just shows that you have been too hard on her and as a result, she does not feel confident enough to admit her flaws before you.

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7. You Don’t Allow Her Mingle With Other Kids. Every child wants to play with other kids their age. They learn more about the world that way. Constantly isolating your child from the other kids has its consequences.

8. You Complain Over Everything She Does Wrong. Pointing out every fault just puts a lot of pressure on your kid. Try to let some things slide. Let her make mistakes sometimes, you can always correct her lovingly instead of using snide words that leave her feeling, not good enough.

9. You Smack Them All The Time. This just builds a fear in the child, they become scared of you and subsequently they stop caring as they get used to it.

10. You Don’t Indulge Her. Let your child breathe. Let her play, let her have an ice cream, let her break a few things, a few rules. Allow her watch TV, don’t always be in her shadows, refusing to just let her be a kid.