Dear MIMsters: How My Husband Keeps Putting His Friends First At The Expense of His Family’s Welfare

In the last 3 months, I have been the one providing for our home because husband being a contractor has not being awarded any in the last 3 months. My husband keeps putting his friends first at the expense of his family’s welfare.

I provide food, pay electricity bills, water bills, etc and also give him transport money when he is going out to look for contracts. It’s really been hard on me.

A friend of my husband was coming over to Abuja for something and planned to put up with us during his stay. This was to avoid paying hotel bills. My husband never considered it necessary to notify me, nor seek my opinion about this. He had even travelled to Jos when this friend of his arrived in Abuja. My husband had given him the description to our house, also without telling me.

His friend arrived at my door unannounced and stayed with us. I spent money feeding him until my husband returned from Jos to meet his friend. This is the third time, we will be having a visitor arriving to stay with us without being notified by my husband. I only wake up to meet them in our home without even knowing how long they are staying for, yet he expects me to keep feeding them until they leave.

I am very angry right now as I have been considering leaving the house for them to go and sleep in a hotel since my husband doesn’t see the importance of involving me before taking such decision. Yet, he expects me to shelter his friends. I would have left for a hotel but I am constrained by my older child who would need me when he returns from school. I am also nursing a newborn baby.

I don’t know why my husband is so unreasonable about this knowing how hard it has been for me to fend for the house. How do I handle this?