Dear MIMsters: I Need To Get Out Of This Trap Before I Do Something Crazy
I am 24 and in a relationship with this guy, Chad who is nice and hard working. Our families are happy with each other and we are planning to get married towards the end of next year.
The thing now is that there is this my ex, Ken who got married two years ago. Before he got married, we were together in 2010 when I finished my secondary School. He was my teacher and serving then. He had told me all he needed was to get a good job and settle down with me. But when he got a good paying job and was ready to get married, I was not ready because I had not secured admission into the university and I was not ready at all to go into marriage without an education. Though he promised that I would continue to go to school even after we get married, I refused.
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Not long after, he got married in October of the following year. We have not been on talking terms for a while but somewhere in between, early last year precisely, he had financial issue and called me for assistance. I didn’t hesitate to help and he paid back.
Sometime in October, he called to say hello and to find out how I was fairing. Since then, he has been sending me money whenever I have need for it or not. We are now so close that we discuss everything and anything including my relationship and his marriage as well. In fact, we are even closer than we were when we were dating and it’s all via phone conversations. We haven’t physically seen each other in a long while.
We are planning to meet soon and truth be told, I have fallen in love with him all over again. The problem is, it is already affecting my relationship with Ken. Chad says he feels the same way about me too, that we didn’t take our chance of being together when we could. He wants to be a part of me forever and suggested that we should have a baby together. He is ready to take care of me and the baby while I go ahead with my marriage plans. He has also warned me that this decision is going to bring me a lot of trouble and pain from my family and friends.
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Even though I know this is a crazy thing to think about, somehow I still want to go ahead. I have found a whole new happiness with him and he is everything I want in a man. I don’t just know how to handle this any more. I am hopelessly in love with him and at the same time scared I might just be taking a wrong turn to the detriment of my future. Has anyone been in my position before? How did you come out of it?
Dear poster, what you are feeling for your ex who is now a married man is not love its lust, that is why I always discourage people from having a continuous chatting moment with an opposite sex your are not supposed to have romantic feelings for. Chatting with the opposite sex lead people astray.
if only he is still single, then I would have said both of you are probably meant for each other, but in this situation now, he now belong to another woman.
also put your self in the shoe of the wife, how will you feel in her shoe?
The plan to have a child for him is a plan to deprive you of the joy you deserve as a woman, do you want to be a second fiddle, a baby mama when you can be the real wife and the one in charge in Kens house?
As to how yo can handle the situation, change your line, so as to stop receiving calls and chat from him, at first it will be difficult but if you can avoid his call and chat for like 4-6 weeks and with determination from your heart you will get over him. Good luck.