Dear MIMSters: Would It Be Wrong To Send My Niece Back To Her Parents For This Reason?
My brother and his wife have 3 children -2 girls and I boy, 18, 16 and 14 respectively. In 2017, they sent their 2nd daughter, Janet to stay with my family. I have two sons- 12 and 10 respectively.
I enrolled Janet, 14, in my children’s school and all seemed well until the school principal invited hubby and me to the school for a meeting. Apparently, my niece was found in a classroom in a compromising position with another student – a boy.
READ ALSO: Dear MIMsters: How Do I Get My Niece To Stop Influencing My Daughter?
The principal made it known to us that that would be the 2nd time she would be caught in the act. He apologized for not inviting us the first time it happened. His excuse was that she was found with a teacher the first time and so, the school took responsibility by terminating the teacher’s employment immediately.
This time around, Janet in SSS 2 was caught with a 15-year old boy in SSS 3. The boy’s parents were also invited and the principal wanted to know how we would want the matter handled.
He told us the school’s Guidance and Counseling department was involved already so we unanimously agreed that the school management should handle the matter the best way they deemed fit.
I am writing to solicit for advice because of what happened afterwards.
READ ALSO: Dear MIMsters: Do I Have to Feel Guilty About My Niece’s Transformation?
I visited my brother and his wife and you would not believe what my SIL said to me! She accused me of corrupting her daughter in less than 2-years she has stayed with me. I asked my brother if he felt the same way and he said he did not want to interfere in women’s talk.
While we were still on the matter, my SIL’s mom came in and asked to know what the issue was. SIL wasn’t going to tell her and my brother also told mama it was nothing serious but I objected. I explained everything from the beginning to the old woman and she turned to her daughter and said:
“Hannah! Did I not tell you not to send Janet to live with her (pointing at me), I told you she cannot help you undo all the damage you have caused in that girl’s life but you said her own children are well behaved. I told you she is raising boys so she cannot understand how to curb Janet’s excesses. Was this not why she was sent away from her former school? Always found in dark places with men and boys! You and your husband will regret not telling yourselves the truth someday.”
I was shocked!
I looked at my brother, he looked away! I looked at my SIL, she looked sorry but I did not care. My intention was to just report the matter to them while hubby and I would find a way to get professional counseling for Janet but with their action, I am sending the girl right back to them. My mom thinks I am overreacting but I don’t think so. She is telling me that if I sent Janet back to her parents, I will be visiting the sins of her parents on her. Hubby says whatever I decide is fine by him but my mom wouldn’t let me be. She is trying to blackmail my hubby to take a stand which is, support her.
What if SIL’s mom had not visited at that time? Would they have ever told me the truth behind sending Janet to stay with me?
My mind is made up, I am sending her back but my mom would not let me. Am I wrong to want to send her back?
Is your mother the head of your home? What do you mean shebis not letting you? The girl is also her grand daughter so she is biased. Your home comes first. That girl will end up corrupting your hubby and your sons. Let her go back to her parents home, its not your job to fix her. And be firm with your mom if she starts blackmailing you afterall your sis inlaw is a woman just like you so any magic they expect you to petform she as a fellow woman can do same.
You are actually not wrong if you so and her back to her parent but for the sake f respect for your mum and that girls future, plz don’t is and her back. It is obvious her parent can not change her and that is wy they stylishly send her to you. So for the sake of that girl, do all you can to remould her to grow to become a reponsible person in the society. Like you said,let her see a councelor, and also handle her case spiritually, assume she is your daughter as that will help out to go to any lenght to save her from that slf destructive habit she has developed. Good luck and may God join you to remould her.