Dear MIMsters: How I Went From Being The Black Sheep In The Family To Becoming My Father’s Pride
My father thought I would end up a failure because I was the black sheep in the family but I proved him wrong. I’m writing this in reference to a post made by the Mimster who thought her father hates her because she has a baby. My story is a bit lengthy.
I was the black sheep in my family because I was the only one who could look my father in the face and say NO to his orders, not even my mum could.
This attitude of mine made me suffer a lot. He refused to sponsor me to UNI, disgraced me in public for no reason, beat me up at will and called me a whore.
Unfortunately, I lost my virginity to a person I ran to in order to find solace on one of the nights my father beat and locked me out. Boom! I got pregnant.
My suffering increased when he found out I was pregnant. He proclaimed to everyone that I was useless, unserious and a worthless whore. He said he wouldn’t stop abusing except I moved out of his house. I got tired of the constant humiliation and decided to move out with little or no hope of surviving. No money, no job. I was just 21.
I lived with a friend’s family and took up a teaching job. When I was 7 months gone, my baby daddy heard about my ordeal. (I didn’t tell him that I was pregnant and suffering because I was angry at him). He tracked me down, located me, apologised and took me in. Yet, my father never bothered about me. I gave birth and continued to excel with my child because I diverted 70% of my salary to sponsoring myself in a part-time study while my baby papa took up the responsibilities of his son.
A year after the birth of my son, I went to my dad, apologised and asked for his blessings to marry which he gave after much persuasion from elders and my mum but said something I’ll never forget, “You cannot do more than this, whore” and I said “Yes, I can do more and you’ll be alive to witness it.” My response started up another issue (story for another day). I got married and I didn’t stop schooling.
Today, I’m a graduate, a mother of two, an educationist, a businesswoman and still progressing. My dad never believed I could make it. Soon, I became his pride whom he calls me every now and then to bring his grandchildren to visit.
Moral of my story: If you don’t brace up, move out and struggle to survive, Your dad will always see you as a failure and a black sheep. If I didn’t leave the house to struggle on my own, maybe luck wouldn’t have shined on me as it did.
It can only be achieved through self determination.