Dear MIMsters: I Am In A Very Awkward Love Triangle
I am in a very awkward love triangle that has generated strong negative feelings.
My marriage is 2 years old. My husband has only one sibling, his brother who is also married. My husband loves me very much and respects me no doubt about that. The problem is his brother’s wife. She got married into the family before me. Her husband is the first son.
The girl has a basket mouth. She can tell you all her secrets within a few minutes of meeting her, not the kind of person that I can be friends with because I’m quiet, but I try my best to relate with her since she is my only co-wife.
When I got married, anytime we are together, she’ll tell me about my husband’s ex girlfriends my husband never mentioned to me. After confronting my husband about that, he’ll apologize and say that is in the past.
My husband hates his brother’s wife, doesn’t respect her, she also doesn’t respect my husband and talks to him anyhow.
Recently, my co wife told me that my husband once dated her before she married his brother. I confronted my husband who confirmed it to be true. He said they dated for a week but nothing serious. It was after a week of knowing her that he saw her in his brothers house. He told his brother not to marry her because it is awkward to marry someone who once dated your sibling but he married her.
Now, I’m caught up in a love triangle and living with the fact that my husband’s ex girlfriend is my co-wife. Do you know how bad it feels to know that your partner’s ex is your in-law? Knowing this has made me developed a hatred for her as I am no longer happy seeing her.
Initially, I tried to be close to her because the brothers are very close to each other, but I can’t do that again. How do I live with this? How do I handle this? Please advice me.
I can feel your pain, pain of low self esteem and thought of mother words to you. Let me start by encouraging you then burst down to your Mum.
You need to create a set mind of, this is a phase and it will pass. Develop a smiling or laughing attitude instead of yelling back at your mum. I believe you will notice by now that, after yelling at her, you start feeling depressed and disrespectful. It is your mum, you know how she talks by now, you should have build this kind of fence that will shield you from allowing her words to get to you not to talk of reducing your moral value, self esteem and and so on.
Thank God, you are Christian but you need to build your christianity level from a canal Christian to a spiritual Christian(where you get to discover you uniqueness).
See, you need to choose your attitude, right attitude and don’t allow your mum words to change who you are. You are a virtuous lady, smart and intelligent at that, industrious lady etc.
Wake from bed in the morning and even at night before you sleep, and tell yourself good things, read books that can burst your attitude and self esteem and moral value books like (Difference maker by John Maxwell , intentional living, Developing by same author), Joy Meyers books, Uncommon woman by Mike Murdock etc)
Low Self esteem start by picking words from many statement made to us then starting thinking deeply about what we heard or what somebody say to us.
The Bible says, as a man thinketh, so he is.
Yes, you don
Wake from bed in the morning and even at night before you sleep, and tell yourself good things, read books that can burst your attitude and self esteem and moral value books like (Difference maker by John Maxwell , intentional living, Developing by same author), Joy Meyers books, Uncommon woman by Mike Murdock etc)
Low Self esteem start by picking words from many statement made to us then starting thinking deeply about what we heard or what somebody say to us.
The Bible says, as a man thinketh, so he is.
Yes, you don’t have control over what someone say to you but you have total control to think or don’t think about, to nurse it or don’t nurse in your heart and to accept or reject what they say
See this write up below about “Thought”:
I can make you rise or fall. I can work for you or against
you. I can make you a success or a failure.
I control the way that you feel and the way that you act.
I can make you laugh … work … love. I can make your
heart sing with joy … excitement … elation.
Or I can make you wretched … dejected … morbid.
I can be nurtured and grown to be great and beautiful
seen by the eyes of others through action in you.
I can never be removed … only replaced.
I am a THOUGHT.
You need to work on your mind, thought and attitude toward what you mum say to you and continue to pray for your mum for God to change of heart and God should give her a better understanding of motherhood
It is well with you, Your Highness!
Shalom