Why Twitter User Uche Maduka Remained Ashamed Of Her Name For Six Years Has Some Lessons In It
A Nigerian woman has shared her story after she recovered from an experience that caused her deep shame six years ago. Her story is an eye-opener for parents and institutions to follow up on the mental health and well-being of young adults in their care after an incident like sexual abuse. 22-year-old Uche Maduka took to her Twitter account to share that the stigma of what happened to her six years ago when she was only a teenager at the university caused her so much anxiety and made her ashamed of her name.
Uche in her post shared that while schooling at one of the faith-based universities in Nigeria, a Masters student groomed and manipulated her until he sexually abused her. When the school found out about it, Uche said the university displayed her name and picture on a screen in a hall filled with a multitude of students, and she was dismissed on that same day even though she was only 16 years old while her abuser, whom she named as David suffered no reproach.
She goes on to say she held back and has tried to hide since the incident for fear that someone might recognise her face or name and ask about her past.
Uche who revealed yesterday in her post that she is finally ready to set herself free from the shame of her name and stigma of what happened to her years ago also revealed that her father saw to it that her abuser was punished later on.
Read her full post:
I had a deep sober reflection by midnight today. I began unpacking where my anxiety and fear stemmed from.For years, I’ve carried the shame, the stigma and abuse that have suffered from on my name.
I hated my name because i believed it had a gory past to it.It was dragged through the mud of victim blaming and slut shaming.
I began hiding in fear in hopes that no one knows my name and no one remembers my story.
I’ve denied myself of a social life nor a social media presence cause I don’t want anyone to know me, know my story nor ask me questions.
I hid because I felt I was still far from perfect and a work in progress, I feared that I had nothing to show that I’ve risen from the shame.
At 12:58am 2nd of May, I decided to release my name from the shame and ridicule it was once drenched in.
6 years ago, at the Age of 16, my name, my picture, was displayed in front of thousands of students at Covenant University, as well as my offence and punishment.
I was punished for being manipulated and sexually abused by 26 year old masters student named David.
“why didn’t you scream” “why did you let him remove your clothes” “why didn’t you say anything when someone knocked at his office door” being thrown at my face Infront of disciplinary panel as I broke down in tears.
On departure day, only my name and face appeared on the screen in the hall of multitude of students. His name and face was spared, he wasn’t punished.
It was until my father, who later on tried to reduce my punishment found out my abuser wasn’t punished after being lied to that he was locked up.
He was still working and walking freely in school. I bore the shame and disgrace alone.It was sometime after, after enough hammering on the school by my father that my abuser got punished.
For years, I’ve carried the guilt, for years, I believed it was my fault, that I deserve what I got but today, I say no more.
I am Maduka Uchechukwu and I’ve made an oath to myself never to carry the blame of being sexually assaulted, that it was NEVER and will never be my fault.
I reject and remove the shame that has hovered around my name and I completely set myself free.
I’ll no longer hide, I will no longer be ashamed of my name.
Maduka Uchechukwu, that’s who I am and that’s who I will always be. I AM FREE.
See the original post:
https://twitter.com/UcheMaduka_/status/1256564066388185088?s=20