Dear MIMsters: Pay Attention To Those Red Flags So You Won’t End Up Like Me

If you seed those red flags and you overlook them, you might be heading for danger. The best decision is to let go when you see those red flags. I hope you guys will learn from my experience.

l saw the red flags before and after our official introduction but instead of me to call it quits, I was thinking of what people will say about me.

I was 29 years old then and I thought at my age, men weren’t coming my way. This mentality made me forge ahead with this relationship. I thought I would be able to change him. Initially, when I started seeing the red flags, I told my pastor but he refused to understand. Let me mention that it was my pastor who initiated the relationship.

The marriage was hell. I wanted to call it quits six months into the marriage but my ‘Christian mothers’ advised me to endure, that things will change with prayers. I pay the bills, rent, and virtually everything in the house. Is this marriage?

When it comes to sex, that’s when he becomes the man of the house who wants sex every time and I’m not the type who likes or enjoys sex.

Fast forward to four years into the marriage, he said that he didn’t love me anymore because I had started withdrawing from paying the bills. Less I forget, I was doing well before I married him but after the wedding, everything turned upside down.

One day, I decided to pray and carry out investigations by myself without involving my pastor.

I found out that he had previously been married to four different women and I’m wife number 5. He has children from his previous marriages while I’m still trying to conceive. I was supposed to have followed the signs and carried out some fact-finding before getting married to him, but I allowed my father-in-the-Lord (my pastor) to do this on my behalf.

Another bomb that hit me was I also found out that his so-called Mom has children with five husbands, chai! His dad also. Then I knew I was in hot soup. I also remembered when one of his younger sisters who came to visit told me that her brother likes women who are well to do and as soon as he discovers that things are not working for him again, he jumps out.

So he jumped out of our marriage when it was in its sixth year and depression came. Thank God, I survived it and I bounced back again. Now, he wants to come back. He has been begging me to take him back. He said men of God advised him to come and beg me for forgiveness. This is after getting married to three different women after he left me. Thank God for his mercies.

I am not saying that you should not involve your cleric when it comes to marriage, but you should know that you are the one who is going to be in that marriage. So my advice is for you to pray by yourself so that you will not end up like me.