Dear MIMsters: I Came Here To Just Pour Out My Heart, Please Hear Me Out!

I was crying at the back of my church yesterday when a church member saw me and introduced me to this page to come and pour out my heart. When it comes to relationships, I feel like God has not been fair to me.

The first person enjoyed my food and cleaning services and later dumped me to go marry someone else. After getting married, he called and told me how he misses me and wanted to stay friends with me. I told him God will punish him.

Eight of my relationships have ended in mysterious ways. Some of them will come and make their intentions known to my family and never come back. Someone said spiritual husband is disturbing me. Sometimes I do have sex in my dreams and wake up wet. I don’t know if this is normal as a girl. Anyways, I decided to give another relationship a try in October 2018.

I moved in with him last year because it was a long-distance relationship. I wanted to get to know him better and could not do that when living in another state.

At every provocation, he would punch me and try to use a pillow to suffocate me. He throws tantrums and keeps malice. While lying next to him, he uses pornography to masturbate. I got hold of his phone one day and saw the numerous girls he flirts with. I cried and asked him what I have done to deserve all these. He begged me and said he’s only flirting and flirting is not cheating.

I took my things that day and traveled back to my base. He called me only once and when I refused to pick, he never called again. Since April till now, I have not heard from him again. I summoned the courage not to reach out to him and I have just stayed on my lane.

What triggered my tears yesterday was that I checked his Facebook wall and noticed that he has added a family friend now turned girlfriend and has started liking her pictures. This girl had unfriended him when she saw pictures of him and me together. When that happened, he was calling and begging her, almost denying me. She told him to stop disturbing her. Notice that, he isn’t begging me like that now.

This is a man I gave N10,000 to during the lockdown to manage as he used all his money and even borrowed, to buy a car. On his birthday, I took him out and he confessed that no woman has ever spent on him before. This man was a sex and porn addict before I met him. He would go to Wuse to carry prostitutes. But when I came into his life to see how I could change him, he stopped for a while and started again shortly before I left.

When he has finished beating me, he would keep malice with me for days and I would be the one to tell him sorry and call for a settlement. His sister said that is how he is, that if his family tries to advise or correct him, he sidelines them and stops attending family meetings.

He looks like an angel because he looks calm and quiet but he once told me that he was planning to bring one of his ex-girlfriends to his house, tie her to the ceiling fan, rape, beat, and throw her out because she is the only girl he fell in love with not knowing that she was a runs girl who used him to act porn and then sends the videos to men to collect money.

I told him not to do it to avoid future issues. When I was going through his chats, I saw that he is still talking to this same girl and they both call each other endearing names.

Last year when I came to stay with him, he didn’t have a car and I was trekking with him. Now, that he has bought a car, another girl will come and enjoy it. Next month, he will be 34 and I will be 30. I have wasted my years with the wrong men. I thought he was going to be the final bus stop as he has introduced me to all his family members and to people that he respects.