Dear MIMsters: Would I Be Making A Big Mistake To Break Up With Him?

Would I be making a big mistake if I broke up with him?

My boyfriend asked me out a month after I met him, at first, I said no because I wasn’t physically attracted to him but his character is 75 percent of what I want in a man.

He pushed and even suggested that I discuss it with my aunty who I was living with then and I did. My aunt advised me to give it a try. I accepted since he has almost everything I wanted in a man.

2 weeks later, he got another job in Ibadan. I told him a relationship won’t work for us again since we’ll be living in different states. But he kept saying distance isn’t going to be a barrier (it hasn’t been except during the lockdown), that he’s ready to make it work.

We started dating a few days after he moved to Ibadan and the relationship went on smoothly. It hardly felt like we were in a distant relationship. He’s always very open and we talked about everything.

Around December last year, he started giving some attitude and always claimed to be busy. This was unlike him. This led to a little misunderstanding and he kept saying that I should try to understand him.

We settled and everything and went back to normal until March this year when the same thing happened again. He stopped calling and messaging me and won’t respond to mine either. I started complaining and whenever I did, he would say nothing is happening, that he’s just busy and that he’ll change but he doesn’t.

When he manages to call, it was always when he was out, not when he’s home and won’t pick his video calls. This continued for a month, then I decided to end the relationship.

He apologized for his behavior, denied anything was really happening which I don’t totally believe but I gave him the benefit of doubt to allow peace to reign.

Later that day, as we were chatting on WhatsApp and he wanted to show me his battery percentage, he made a screenshot and sent it to me. On the screenshot, my name was stored as ‘Tony.’

I got angry and immediately drew his attention to it. He said his phone is bad and that it’s not just my name that’s having issues on his phone, which I still don’t believe but at a point, I decided to overlook.

Around December last year, he told me that a girl in the church he attends likes him and has been wanting to visit him at home, to the extent that she went to his friend to ask for his address but he told his friend not to give it to her. I told him to be careful with whatever he’s doing and I don’t want her to come to his house.

A few weeks later, we were chatting and he wanted to send a picture to me, he mistakenly sent a picture of this girl in his house. I got mad at him for lying to me. He tried to defend himself by saying nothing is going on. I am still pained because he lied to me that she has never visited his house.

He came visiting me a few days ago and said he’ll like us to go see his parents when he comes back again and that he’s working on relocating back to where I am now.

The issue is that I feel there’s something fishy about him and this girl who is crushing on him. I want to break up with him but I don’t know if it would be the right thing to do.