Dear MIMsters: What Can I Do To Make Him Happy?

I’m 31 years old and in a relationship. This man I’m dating is kindhearted, caring and selfless although he has his flaws because we are all imperfect. I want to know, what can I do to make him happy?

I love him and he loves me too but recently the affection and love I have for him is fading due to some of his attitudes, making me scared of our future together. I tried to overlooking his flaws because I can manage them, besides, I have my flaws too.

The problem is that he isn’t internally happy due to his childhood and that makes him feel inferior. He gets petty about little things. Although it irritates and drains me, I try to cope and correct him in a nice way but he tells me that I’m just worrying my head.

He can be very moody for some days without telling me the reason why, no matter what I do to make him happy. So when he gets moody, I would leave him for sometime but he’ll end up telling me that I’m very wicked and selfish for not comforting him.

In fact, I’m drained and losing my sanity because he doesn’t want to see me happy whiles he’s depriving himself of being happy.

I once lived with my uncle (whose behaviour is similar)and his wife, till date, nobody knows where the wife is because she ran away with their only daughter for her peace of mind. I don’t want to hurt his feelings by stepping out of the relationship but I’m dying inside. My family members have been telling me that he’s a good man, and that good men are scarce these days. They also said that I’m not getting younger and since he’s almost done buying all what we need for our marriage rites, I should accept him like that because no one is perfect and that I can gradually change him.

What pains me most is that he always denies the fact that we need a counselor to help us because we are good in communicating and there is nothing wrong with our relationship. I feel these signs can lead to emotional abuse in future. Please help me out of this confusion.