He has been taking my kindness and humility for stupidity all these while. How do I make him stop?
I got pregnant 3 months after I started dating my now husband. At that time, he was 30-years-old and a final year student writing his project while I was a 26-year-old part time student in a college of education. I was working because I was sponsoring myself.
Then, my husband and his mum asked me to abort the pregnancy because he was still a student and their family was not financially stable. I also come from a poor home where my siblings and I contribute money for our family’s financial upkeep.
Against their wish, I decided to keep my baby and struggled for survival with my then N12k a month salary. When my guy and his mum saw that I wasn’t willing to dance to their tune, they accepted me into their family with love, for which I am thankful for. Before then, I single handedly took care of my son right from conception to when he turned 3-years-old. During this time, I made my parents believe that my hubby has been playing his role as a father. I did this in order for people around me to respect him and because my son & I were still living with my parents.
While he was serving, I advised him to save up his allowance as I sent money and recharge cards regularly to him. I was getting tips at my place of work and as such do not live only by my salary. He returned from serving his fatherland empty handed but looking very well fed, while, I was lean as a result of the stress, I was passing through.
I advised him to use the first N300k I was able to save up to buy a land but he refused and we ended up lavishing the money, part of which was used to assist his elder brother who was involved in a messy police case. The next money we were able to raise was used in renting a house and I also gave him money to give to both parents whenever they had a need. But here is my problem;
My guy has been taking my kindness and humility for stupidity.
We got married 3 years after the birth of our son and we now have a 10 months old baby, while our first child, a boy is 5 years old. My guy is not working at the moment but even when he was working, I always gave him transport fare to work. He enjoys taking decisions against my wish and shouts at the slightest provocation. In addition, he enjoys putting his hand on me and makes sure that I have no savings. Whenever I try to save up, he would bring up a problem or need that will require money to solve.
The most recent one was when without telling me, he withdrew N4k out of the N11k that I had managed to save without his knowledge. I got to find out when I got to the bank 3 days after. We got into a heated argument because of this. He blamed me for not telling him that I have money in my account and to pay me back for not telling me, he decided to use my ATM card without telling me.
He told me that if he hadn’t picked me up from the gutter, that I wouldn’t be questioning him. I seriously need your advice on how to handle it. Please, do not insult my hubby.