Dear MIMsters: My Father Wants Me to Leave My Irresponsible Husband and Come Back Home. Should I?
I have been married for four years now. My irresponsible husband is not treating me right as he is so arrogant and harsh. We fight every now and then and he’s always finding comfort drinking alcohol. He drinks so much, so most of the time, we fight because of alcohol. We have an 11 months old son. I have tolerated his behaviour but now I am fed up and I have decided to leave him.
Yesterday, we fought a lot and he insulted me with very hurtful words. He said that he regrets marrying me, calling me stupid and also insulted my sweet parents. I was so angry and I wasn’t just going to stand there and watch me run me down, that I found myself telling him, “I wish you were dead.” Since then, he has left the house to go and pitch his tent with his sister.
Unfortunately for me, the gas run out empty and I had no money. I called to ask him for money but he didn’t respond. I decided to my father who live in another city for help. My father felt so bad and said, “how can a man leave his family without money?” Thankfully my father sent me some which I used to buy gas and food for the baby.
Even though I am working, what I earn is not enough to support my son and I. The thing is, now, my father wants me to come back home. Meanwhile, when my husband called, he talked to me as if nothing happened. He wasn’t interested to know about how the baby and I fared without gas and money at home. In short, I am not happy in this life. I can’t even sing around in my own home anymore when he is around. I am seriously thinking of leaving and raise my child as a single mum but I need encouragement.
Better leave that silly man alone. You even have a father that is so nice and has your back and you are asking if you should leave. I think a separation for now would be a great idea. Separate from him and go home, if he truly loves his family, he will come get you guys. If not, then remain with your family.
hmmm i just want to be objective here
what is the root cause of the act of drinking when that is solved you have your man back.
we plan life so as to get much it does not just happen . Marriage is a divine thing established by God and so when God is invited into it ahh it works.
The best place with best counselors(professional) are still the leaders in terms of divorce rate.
Misunderstanding is normal in a family,you disagree to agree,there is no perfect person and during the process hurtful words are being said doesn’t mean you or your patner really meant those words.your marraige is still fresh many challenges will come your way,just try to understand your hubby and once he starts being cranky act as if you didn’t hear those hurtful words from him,not easy though but you have to for peace to reign.two wrongs don’t make right.Don’t leave for your parents place please,whoever told you it wil be rosy there has gotten it wrong.marraige is the union of two good forgivers.there is no perfect marraige.never think you are perfect for him just as he isn’t perfect for you.your good might not be best enough for him same as his.good thing you know where he is,he sure wil come around and find a good time to talk to him.if you leave for your fathers place,chances are he may feel reluctant to come around knowing u and his son are safe and wel taken care of while he manages the funds on him.
This is very well said. God bless you real good. Most ladies now all they think of is leaving their marriage when ever any little misunderstanding arise.
This is what happens when people are nor happy together, u told him u wished u were dead bc that was what has been brewing in ur mind
To me what you guys need is counseling, all these fights and shouts is not good for ur child
Sorry to say, u r not trying too,the way u called him irresponsible maybe u said a bitter word to him and u both started trading words
As far as he is not cheating on you or beating you up,you both can still try working it out by seeing a counselor
And if he started drinking,have u thought of the fact that nagging can make a man turn to drinks?
When he comes back,talk to him calmly and suggest counseling
About the gas issue, he did not know it will finish and he was angry bc of the heavy words u used so u don’t expect him to pick his calls immediately
Then pls try and save, I can’t imagine someone working not having money for something small as gas what housewives can afford, map out how much u will save each month and no matter what,don’t touch it except its a rainy day
Wish you luck in ur marriage
no one can decide fr u