Dear MIMsters: I’m Afraid My In-Laws Have Overstayed Their Welcome and I Need Help
I have been married for two years now. In these years, my mum has only visited me once and that was when I gave birth and had a child dedication and has never overstayed.
She usually say she thinks hubby and I need our privacy. It won’t be good for her to visit all the time. But it is not like that with my mother-in-law who visits twice every year and can stay for 4 to 5 months each visit.
Currently, she has been with us since March this year and plans to go in August. The issue now is my mum is ill & hubby suggested she comes to the state we live in to seek medical treatment. Hubby works in a good hospital here. He discussed it with her and she accepted.
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Now, I don’t want my mum and my mother-in-law to meet in my home, so the don’t start seeing each other’s shortcomings. I want their relationship to be a distant one to avoid any possible problems. Also, my mum would not like to live with my MIL for too long under one roof.
I discussed this with my mum and we agreed she should come after my MIL leaves in August.
The problem now is my sister-in-law who is married with children told me yesterday that she will be coming to the state where we live for a conference and to won’t be leaving till September. There is no way MIL will leave as earlier planned in August when her daughter, my SIL will be around till September.
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I am in a dillemma. I don’t want SIL to stay that long but I don’t know how to discuss this with my husband. I don’t want him to get the wrong thoughts about this. My sister-in-law does visits and stays for months too. Please advice me.
OMG!!!!! This is a crazy situation, I don’t have in-laws so am not in a good position to give advise but will be back to read comments from experienced mom.
Just tell your husband what you and your mom discussed. Tell your husband he should make sure his mom leaves in aug so your mom and SIL can come. It doesn’t make sense having his mom, your mom and his sister under one roof.
It is so wrong even by bible standards. A man should have privacy with his wife. U are trying to be all nice but that will still not save u. My mum n dad never had privacy for once cos they houses all his siblings till they got married and started housing the children even. What eventually happened? They repaid her kindness with the greatest wickedness possible, she almost died. I have learnt and decided to be strict in my husband’s house. Everybody dey ur lane. Simple.
haaa under one roof…na wa….
These are issues you should have discussed before getting married. I still don’t understand why your MIL stays with you for 6 months in a year. Doesn’t she have her own house or other children to stay with? Now your SIL is coming to stay for a month,, is your house now a hotel? They ate all trying to show you that the house belongs to them and they are also entitled to enjoy your Hubby’s wealth with you. You’ve started on a wrong note and there’s nothing you can do about it or you want to create problems. Pls just allow your mom and your SIL to stay together. May God help you
My advice to you, I don’t know how many rooms u live in. I have had an experience of my mum & MIL living in my house, d experience wasn’t funny. I advice u discuss with ur husband for ur MIL to leave b4 ur mum & ur SIL comes. Carefully pray that ur husband will agree with you.