4 Sure Ways To Understanding Your Child’s Personality Type

If you happen to have multiple children as a parent, you probably have been surprised at how different your children seem, it’s all in the personality traits.

One child might be calm and easygoing, while the other is bubbly and intense. One takes change in stride, while another might need more time to adjust.

One would expect as a consequence of both kids being raised with the same parents, in the same home environment, and in the same culture, that they would be more alike than different, but that is hardly ever the case. Why? Temperament is often the answer.

So What Is Temperament?

Temperament is believed to be formed as an infant and never changes, it simply develops over time as you mature and grow to make you your unique self.

Essentially, temperament refers to our personality traits and responses to life. Psychologists and researchers generally consider five traits when evaluating temperament.

These traits include: emotional intensity, activity level, frustration tolerance, reaction to new people and reaction to change.

As we have mentioned earlier, individuals are born with unique character traits and temperament. Temperament is not caused by something you did or failed to do as a parent, nor is it a product of culture, even though environment plays a key role in how your child perceives himself and responds to life.

As a parent, an understanding of temperament can help you approach your child’s need effectively rather than intuitively. Here’s how you can adapt your parenting to your child’s need:

1. Identify Your Child’s Temperament:

Consider your child’s typical behaviour. Does she enjoy meeting new people or experiencing new things, or requires a little time to warm up to people and at social gatherings?

Does your child seem to feel things deeply, ranging from intense happiness to fierce anger, or is he generally calm and peaceful?

2. Build understanding. 

Frequently, there is a mismatch between a child’s temperament and a parent’s temperament. This mismatch can lead to conflict. You and your spouse may enjoy hanging out with groups of people, while your child may prefer to stay at home or become agitated in company of groups.

Understanding your own temperament and that of your child can help you gain perspective and remain patient. You can design solutions and compromises for your family, instead of being frustrated altogether.

3. Keep Your Needs Seperate:

Separating parental needs and temperamental style from that of our children is a common obstacle in parenting. For instance, you may believe that a child “needs” lots of social activity, when in fact, it is merely your own desire as a parent.

Getting clear on your own parenting style and needs can help you maintain healthy boundaries and help your children become confident and at home with who they are as individuals. 

4. Be Your Child’s Advocate:

This bit is very important.  Our culture in this part of the world tends to reward quiet,  compliant behaviour, without paying much regard to whether we are smothering the child’s personality and it’s full development and healthy expression of self.

As a parent, you should seek to identify the unique characteristics of your child, identifying his potential strengths and weaknesses and developing informed responses to both, so you can perform your role as a guardian effectively.

You may have a child with high energy and intense responses, that cause other well-meaning  parents or family to stare disapproving in your direction.  If you have understood your childs personality type, you will be less offended by the judgements, having identified the potential strengths of your child’s character traits.