Hollywood Actor And Dad, David Oyelowo’s Views On Relationships, Marriages & The Dynamics Of Millennial Love Deserve A Read!
British-Nigerian Hollywood movie star David Oyelowo, in a recent interview talks effort, vulnerability and the beauty of selflessness in relationships and marriages.
The great father of four, sat to chat with xoNecole during the press runs for the newly-released movie, “Don’t Let Go,” in which the actor features and one of the most noteworthy sound-bites from that interview has to do with interdependence and relationship efforts, and also why giving is more important in a relationship than taking.
When asked about what millennials are getting wrong about the whole concept of love, Oyelowo who is married to a white actress, Jessica Oyelowo, with whom he has all his children says:
“I think there’s a notion that independence is the absolute epitome of self-realization. I actually feel people are designed to be dependent on each other. And I think this striving for independence is why you have so many lonely people. It’s why “commitment” has become almost a swear word, if you will.
“Because there is this notion with the younger people… that empowerment, true femininity and masculinity is tied to being able to be self-reliant entirely.
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“And anyone who’s lived on a deserted island for a week will tell you: I just don’t think we’re designed to be alone (laughs). I think we’re designed to rely upon each other. I think we’re designed to be vulnerable with each other.
“And I truly do believe that we are, we are designed to love in a way that is not just about what I can take, whether it be sexually or financially or, or emotionally. But to give, I think giving is the height of who we are. And that is also something that is in short supply these days.”
Oyelowo has been married for over two decades, so his opinion on marriage and family carries quite the weight. He holds nothing back when speaking about this present generation’s behavior towards the concept of love, marriage and family.
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In his opinion, family does not seem to mean as much as it should and not enough effort is being put into making things work before people give up on each other. He further said:
“I know there are reasons why people end up breaking up and all of that, but I feel like in society now, I don’t know that we work as hard as we should to stay together. I think that there’s a misconception that love should always feel like butterflies and be romantic. But there’s an element to love that is work. There is an element that is pure self-sacrifice without the desire to get anything back in return.
“And if two people are doing that to each other: then you are loving and being loved at the same time. So, I think that the sheer amount of work that needs to go into keeping your family together and keeping a marriage together, is something that we’re losing as a skill.”