Dear MIMsters: Do I Need To Play Catch Up With Hubby Or Not?

Do I need to play catch up with hubby or not?

Help! Hubby lived abroad for 10 years while our 2 children and I remained in Nigeria. Things were really tough for us all those years as he worked hard in the hope to give us a nice life. I ended up picking up most of the bills in his stead since he still hadn’t gotten his head “above water”. Eventually, he packed up and returned home.

Within that same year, he got a humongous contract. We literally ‘cleaned house’: bought a few houses in high-brow neighborhoods, 4 luxurious cars( his and mine), picked out home appliances from IKEA, and had every pin shipped in for our new home, you name it, we sloshed. And the contracts have been coming in since then.

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Thing is, I want the sloshing to stop. Can’t we just stick to what we need? We have very good investments and insurance policies already, he argues but I just feel I’m not being a good wife, allowing him to slosh so much. My friends say it’s my time for reaping, so I should relax and enjoy it, that I need to move up to speed and catch up with him: he’s moved up the ladder and so should I before he leaves me behind. They say I’m allowing myself to live in the past, in fear so to speak. They say, spoiling me feeds his ego, nicely. Really?

I’m now left wondering. He admired me with all my principles, those lean years, principles without which I’m unsure if we would be where we are now. Isn’t that part of why he married me?

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I’m in a serious dilemma here, trust me. Do I change with the times or “evolve” as they say? Is my argument totally pointless?