Judged Useless By Her Own Husband, Blind Mum Finds Hope Again

Here’s the powerful story of a blind mother of two, who found hope and started building her life again after being written off by the world as useless including her own husband and members of her family.

Losing her sight at the age of 20 was an understandably difficult experience, but for Sylvia the worst part was being torn apart from her two young sons, reports Daily Mail.

After her husband started mistreating her because of her disability, Sylvia, now 30, felt she had no choice but to leave their home in Masindi, Uganda, and was subsequently banned from visiting them. But after seven months at a school where she learned to use a knitting machine, as well as being taught skills such as using a white cane and reading braille, she hopes she can win her children back.

‘Before I went blind, my husband loved me,’ she recalled.
‘When I couldn’t see anymore, he said I had become useless and that he had to nurse me like a child. He began mistreating me and I made a decision to leave him.’

Sylvia doesn’t know what caused her to lose her sight, and it happened seemingly overnight.
‘It’s still a mystery,’ she explained. ‘I just woke up one morning and I just couldn’t see.
‘I went to Masindi hospital, in fact I went to many hospitals. I was even operated on. But nothing they did helped.’
Attitudes towards the capabilities of people with disabilities in Uganda meant that nobody thought Sylvia would be able to look after her children, so they remained with her husband. Sylvia was stopped from even visiting her children and was only allowed the occasional phone call.

‘I asked him to bring them to see me,’ she explained. ‘But he refused.’

After leaving her husband, Sylvia moved back in with her parents and stayed in the house most of the time because she was too scared to try to move around.
Life is significantly more challenging for girls and women with disabilities in Uganda, as they are even less likely to be prioritised by their families and face multiple forms of discrimination. There is also a high risk of sexual violence and abuse against women with physical disabilities. Sylvia’s friends soon dropped away because they didn’t know how to help her and didn’t want to be seen walking with her.

Then one day,  she was listening to the radio and heard that the charity Sightsavers was promoting Connecting The Dots – a programme to help young people with disabilities gain skills and find work.

‘I asked my father to take me to the office of Sightsavers,’ she recalled, ‘But he was reluctant. He had written me and my future off because I am blind.’

But hearing about the programme had planted a seed in Sylvia’s mind, and she went to her parish councillor.

‘I told her my problem and she said, “I will take you the next day”.
‘When I was there I met Madame Edith the programme manager for Connecting The Dots and the other members of the office.

‘They told me I’m going to learn how to walk on my own. And they told me that I’m going to start making sweaters.’

Sylvia spent seven months at St Kizito vocational school in Kampala, learning to use a knitting machine.
She also learned essential life skills such as navigating with a white cane and reading and writing braille.
After her training, she started a work placement with Lydia who owns a knitting shop and has five machines crammed into the tiny room, with four apprentices learning from her

‘I was worried that they wouldn’t manage to learn, especially the blind people,’ Lydia said. ‘My attitude has changed, definitely.

‘Because I realised they can also make things, they don’t have to be guided, they can guide themselves. There are no negative attitudes from customers. Some come just to see the students working. They can’t believe it so I make them stand there and watch and they are all so impressed.’

After starting to knit and seeing what she could produce, Sylvia’s confidence grew enormously and she started earning small amounts of money by selling her garments.

‘I stopped looking at myself as a worthless person,’ she said.

Her increased self-esteem was helped by new friendships with other students. During the training she’d met and bonded with Emily and Jennifer, who she now shares a home with and the three girls understand each other’s strengths and capabilities.
Emily, who has a physical disability, finds fetching water a challenge, so Sylvia and Jennifer get water together while Emily cooks, then Sylvia washes up while Jennifer mops. Now Sylvia is hoping to inspire other people with disabilities.

‘There are so many disabled people out there who have not been given a chance, a voice,’ she said. ‘Most parents feel embarrassed by a disabled child, so they hide us from public view.

‘So people like me who have been empowered effectively become the voice for the disabled people who are marginalised and victimised. Just because I can’t walk, or see, or hear, doesn’t make me any less of a human being.’

Her dream is to set up a training place, so that she can have people come to her to learn skills.
She hopes it would make her community look at her with respect, because they have seen that blind people can train people with normal vision.
‘I have learned that given a chance, a disabled person can be equally productive,’ she said. This programme has saved me from begging. Before, I used to beg for almost everything. But with these skills, I can work and provide for myself. And that makes me very happy.’

Sylvia hopes that if she can show her husband what she can do and how independently she can live, he might be convinced to let her children live with her again.
‘If he finds out that I am now working and earning some money, he will send the children back to me,’ she said. ‘He will be shocked to find out I am no longer the woman he used to throw pity at. I want to work very hard to support my children.’