Dear MIM: Why Did My Husband Still Go Ahead To Marry Me?
Dear MIM,
I have been married to my husband for 5 years but we have only lived together for 3 years. This is because I was back home as I waited for my papers to come through. When I got here, I discovered there was a particular lady he spoke with for at least three to four times a day.
One day, when I was cooking, I asked him if that was his girlfriend he was talking to. He responded by laughing and denied it. However, as time went on, I couldn’t help but actually sat him down to talk about it.
He confessed to me that they USED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. This said woman has four children. One day, I found pictures and videos of each other that they both exchanged. Least to say, all hell broke lose that day. I sent a text to the lady and politely told her to back off. In return, she called me back for 2 days straight and called me every name one earth that you can imagine.
As if that was not enough, my darling husband said it was all my fault. Lest I forget, all of these happened when I was heavily pregnant.
Yesterday, I came back home early from work and found him on a video app with this same woman again doing what heaven forbids. I can’t even mention it here. Oh my God! I think my husband doesn’t love me. But what bothers or what I cannot understand is that if he was so into this other woman, why in the world didn’t he marry her? Why did he come all the way to me? Now that he’s with me and we are expecting a child, why hasn’t he or why CAN’T He LET GO OF HER???
I need some answers. Please help me.
Hmmmmmmmm this one pass me. Talk to your husband oh to choose between you and her period.
Some men are really something else. Madam for the safety of your baby and for your own health please dont push it. Since that old hag called you to insult you why dint you insult her back? I dont start business that l know wont favour me so if am bold to contact any bitch, l will be also bold to spit fire and brimstone.
my dear invite both families dis is getting worse to avoid had I known
Women is high time we come together ad trash dis rubbish men are doing
Women are doin rubbish too.
Lord have mercy
Na wao
But why all this? May your husband begin to have hatred for that lady. Just wondering why women derive pleasure in sharing someone’s husband. It’s well
Hmmm, obviously it’s only your hubby I think that have an answer to ur question. Am just tayad wit some men behaviour plz relax ur mind and be prayerful. Safe delivery
Hmmm some men sha.He took advantage of the 2 yrs you spent at home after marriage.Fighting the lady won’t help matters.Sit your man down and let him know you will not tolerate any disrespect to you and your marriage.Let him know you are not comfortable with that relationship.I just pray he is not the father of her kids because that would mean something else.Finally,do not underestimate the power of prayers
Did he force himself on u? was it an arranged marriage? Didn’t u see all these before saying I do? Why did u marry him? Reasons best known to u.
Maybe cos u r pretty or gullible or intelligent or naive or smart, etc. There are many reasons why people get married. Ask him
He’s in the best position to give you answers, just ask him point blank, everyone else will only speculate but the true answer is known to him alone. Kpele.
Pls relax and deliver ur baby,so u won’t develop hbp.after delivery,u can confront him.
If possible,keep all that aside till u deliver then u can talk to ur hubby
There’s a trend I notice in MIM,most of the women who are complaining of infidelity are mostly women who marry this abroad men,well ur issue is simple,u created a gap by staying away from him for 2yrs,he’s a man he’ll be tempted & ma you made a terrible mistake by putting a call to her,you brought ursef down & u deserve whatever she said to you,shouting,fighting won’t solve this lst of all after u have deliver your baby then talk to your husband make him understnd u re back
madam.i totally agree with you. she committed a grave error by contacting this woman.trust me.like you also observed, she must have a talk with her husband to let him know if he has not known yet,that a man must be devoted to his wife alone.at least,for his own peace,which is essential in every home.
I disagree wit u guys. Seriously, I feel her pain. Perhaps she must ve sit and talk to her hubby,he wouldn’t listen. Every woman will do anything to save her home. Don’t be judgemental
Pls note men who do not stay abroad r d worst of all… Say things only that u have facts and figures of n Moreso, is it her fault that she stayed back nova of papers?
This said woman has four kids, there’s something they both ain’t telling you. Your husband can’t just prefer a woman that got four kids for another man. He might be the owner of those kids.
What do men really want? A woman with 4 kidz, abeg who father those kids/ where is her husband. For the sake of your unborn child, ignore them after having your child report him to his people and yours, he should choose btw U and the Oloshi woman.
Shit happens
All I have to say in dis matter is dat u should pray,cos prayer can go a long way in solving ur problem.and is high time u involve parent.
Hmmmm, I don’t know wat to say o, and your hubby is not even help matter at all. Yesterday I went through my hubby phone and discover his good deed in church is turning into anoda tin, a particular lady texting him dt she does not want his money, but is him she want,how he is caring and always advice her , hubby only reply her once and it was to warn her to stop d rubbish, I was bad but couldn’t say a thing and up till now I don’t know how to talk to him abt d lady. Pls help if you have dealt with something of dis nature, thanks.
OJ, that your husband works in the church suggests to me you are christians. I’ll suggest 1. pray that your husband will not do anything outside God’s will. 2. pray for the lady in question (pls be sincere in your prayer for her, dont curse her) let God deals with her situation. 3. prayerfully talk to your husband about his church activities. I believe your husband is not wayward but you have to take charge of the spiritual atmosphere of your marriage before the devil does. I wish we can discuss better. toppydebby4u@yahoo.ca.
I think you are the second wife, cus I can understand why is acting that way , truly if your unborn baby is the 1st child I don’t think he will act this way, this a clear picture that is the father of the 4 children, I will say you should just take good care of yourself so long is given money for up keep and spend time with you too. God is in control
Get scriptures from the bible and go on your knees… Trust me you’ll see God’s mighty hand in your favour.
Have you had this sort of challenge before? Did going on your knees solve it? Did God come through for you? I’m desperate for answers cos I’m facing worse than this situation at home and I feel powerless to do a thing. Please reply.
Yes prayer does a multitude of things… Pray and do your very best in the physical re: faith without works is dead
Pray about it fervently. Cause since you’ve talked and nothing happened try praying and be the sweetest heart to him.
Jst tell it 2 God, he is nt lik man dat should lie.
That’s sometimes we say u men don’t av sense. Did she say men r rubbish? She said trash d rubbish men are doing… Pls don’t act like a kid here
Report him to God
Your quarrel is not with the other woman. Your quarrel is with your husband. Remember that you are pregnantand your baby can feel all your emotions.
Alert your family and his as he has refused to put an end to their relationship. Perhaps they can settle the matter, otherwise leave him. You have to be alive and happy before anything else. Goof luck with everything and may God guide your every step and protect you and your baby.
If he does all that in your presence and doesn’t seem remorse or whatsoever, then probably the feelings is dead or you gave another woman the privilege to make your husband smiles.
Did you get God’s approval before marrying him?
Didn’t you guy go into courtship before getting engaged?
The best solution now is to retrace your step back to Christ and ask for forgiveness and seek for a solution to this present situation cause he alone has the final say.
Thanks.
GospelBreed.com
The only safest and surest way to wen this battle is to GO ON YOUR KNEES in prayers. Confronting or fighting with your husband or the woman will only make matters worst. Just keep being nice and loving to Him plus prayers and see what God will do for you.
please for the safety of your unborn baby,u knw depression will not help u at the moment,just leave ur life as if nothing is happening,ignore them,until u deliver,u kne some women are good for girlfrd but not wife material,if u ignore them and keep loving ur husband,one day he himself would sit down and think of it,the lord is in control
I think ur husband needs to tell you something u are not aware of…(one)if they re into contract marraige and has not been terminated (2)if he is the father of those kids…keep praying to God to make him reveal somethings….in conclusion take care of your unborn baby…
My sis u need to get that lady’s husband number and tell him everything