My Wife Is Pregnant Again And I Don’t Know What To Do!

My name is Kaleb; I’m 24 years old and my wife is pregnant again.

I’m married to a woman I love dearly and we have a beautiful daughter named Naomi who is just a year old and currently expecting a son. I cannot imagine my life without the both of them as I wonder if I would have been the man that I am today without them.

5 years ago, I wouldn’t have even dreamed of being married, let alone being a father, but as fate would have it, Ruth, my 21-year-old girlfriend told me she was pregnant in the last quarter of 2014. I was beyond shocked and terrified as I was still very young. I had my whole life to live ahead of me, future goals and all. I felt like my dreams were being cut short. I had to take responsibility for two other people and I wasn’t even earning up to a N100,000! How were we going to cope? Where were we going to live? With my mum?

All these questions plagued my mind from the day Ruth told me. I had friends who advised me to abort the pregnancy; I had friends who also told me to deny the baby but I couldn’t do that to Ruth. I couldn’t do that to my baby. I knew Ruth had been faithful to me; she was a wonderful lady any man would be lucky to have and I did want to spend the rest of my life with her. I just didn’t think it was gong to happen so soon.

Sigh!

Fast forward to March 7th, 2015, Ruth and I got married. She was already 5 months pregnant. Our first year of marriage was as rocky as any other marriage due to our very young ages. She was pregnant and getting heavier by the day. I didn’t know how to take care of a pregnant woman. We lived with my mother, elder sister and younger brother and all of these didn’t necessarily help our first year of getting to know each other intimately well and as the saying goes, “the real you arrives after marriage”.

I loved Ruth deeply, and I was determined to make the best of our new life and be a better man before our baby arrived. On July 5th, Naomi joined us and she is the splitting image of myself with her mother’s fieriness.

Last week, Ruth gave me a lot to think about as she tells me she is pregnant again. I know I hurt her because my reaction was more of surprise and regret than the scary joy and sweet love I felt when she told me. She smiled through tears as she told me not to worry that we would be fine as God hadn’t failed us yet. She was right, he hadn’t.

So why was I so nervous? Why couldn’t I show her how excited I was inside? Was it because I could still hear her screams during labour, or feel her pain when I held her hand for all of the 12 hours she spent in labor? Was it because I still cannot forget the feeling of holding my daughter in my hands for the first time, or the way she looks at me now that she is older and calls me “baba”. I wonder if I’m doing enough for her and her mother all the time. I wonder if I’m a good father, a loving husband, a fair partner. Would I be a good father to my forthcoming child? Would I be a better father to Naomi?.

Thinking about it still gave me chills: a father of two at 25. There is a lot I still haven’t opened up to Ruth about. The way she looks at me and holds me, I know that she knows I’m scared. I just want to love wife, my daughter and baby.

I’d be a good father. I promise.