How to Fix Rude Teen Behavior

Teen years are the period that most parents dread, because these are the times when your little angel becomes a little “monster”. The hormones start to kick in, they start becoming attracted to boys or girl, they are more secluded, they feel like they know it all and have all the answers, and they feel like you just don’t understand who they really are.

Over time, many parents have come to know what works and what doesn’t in terms of handling kids during their teen years. . Parenting.com recently published an educational article about how some parents discipline their children during this critical time in their lives.

Christina Bess, mom of a 9 year old and a 12 year old in Maplewood, NJ says “When your tween starts talking back, or yelling at you or rolling her eyes every time you start to open your mouth, you’re bound to feel shock, then maybe anger followed closely by hurt. In the beginning you try to chalk it up to a reason, just as you did when she was younger: Is she hungry? Overtired? and then you realize the reason is, she’s a tween.”

The first time I heard her say something under her breath, I was surprised. She’ll mutter, ‘You clean your room’ at me. I know it’s normal, but when you put everything into raising them right and they come back at you with disrespect, it stings and it makes you second-guess your parenting skills.”

Now in Africa, especially Nigeria, most people think they can avoid this phase, as due to our culture, respect for elders is seen as super important.

Linda Sonna, Ph.D., author of The Everything Tween Book shares that this is the time to:

Maintain your parental status: It is not a time to be their friend per-say, you have to be tough. Tough love comes when you can put your emotions aside, and tell your kid off when they need to be told off, and discipline them when they need to be. They are looking to you to be the guiding light, and sooner or later they will take a cue on how to act properly.

Draw clear lines not to be crossed: You have to know and learn what to overlook and what not too. Make it clear to your child that raising their voice at or back at you or walking off in the middle of a conversation will certainly not fly, and will attract heavy punishments.
Choose a teen-appropriate punishment: After establishing what is allowed or not, make it clear what punishment for misbehavior will be. When it is time to implement this discipline, make sure you follow through always. Don’t let them toy with your emotions or else you will lose all credibility.
Reciprocate Respect: Remember that respect is a two-way street. In as much as they are lost and just trying to find their way, you want to leave meaningful and helpful examples for them to be able to work with. If you find out that you were wrong and they were right in an argument, apologize to them.
Set aside one-on-one time: Create time for you and your teen to bond. They are growing, developing new feelings and experiences. Create time away from other family members for both of you to build a better relationship.