5 Things Women Dealing With Infertility Need to Stop Doing to Themselves

Infertility is something that is all too common in this day and age. A lot of women are keeping quiet about it, suffering in silence and just trying to pick up the pieces of their lives as time goes by. The true question is, what can cause infertility? A number of reasons ranging from hormonal imbalance to an inhospitable womb environment and many other medical and natural reasons.

A good group of women have decided to go through with adoption or IVF (In vitro fertilization) to try and cover up the pain of not being able to carry your own child yourself. We accept and acknowledge the pain, and sometimes emotional heart ache that comes with knowing you are infertile, especially in an environment imbibed in such an African mentality such as Nigeria. However find below, 4 things we urge any infertile women to stop doing to themselves:

1. Stop comparing yourselves to the fertile woman

You might secretly hate or be jealous of these women from time to time, but you need to stop comparing your situation to theirs. Look, these women aren’t you. Their journey is very different from the one you are on. The fact that they have children and can possibly bear more children if they choose too, doesn’t make them more of a woman than you are, don’t ever forget. Your strength and courage is incomparable. One of the greatest disservices we do to ourselves is compare our lives with theirs.

2. Stop blaming yourself

 “What did I do to deserve this?” “What is wrong with me?”

Asking and torturing yourself with these questions only prolongs your hurt and pain, and they do not bring any solutions or closure. Yes, there might have been past abortions, and yes, you might have hurt people in your life. Even though abortions, and bad health choices can lead to life long consequences and problems getting pregnant, you need to move on and think positively. Blaming yourself for past mistakes is the only way to ascertain that your future is not a happy one. There are a thousand and one women who have children and maltreat them or can’t even love them as much as you will. So pick yourself up, and move on.

3. Stop feeling like a victim

In a way you are a victim, but you are also a warrior. You deal with a lot of emotional and physical pain during these trying times. At the same time, you are maintaining a job and also a life or a home. The best thing you can do for yourself is to snap out of the victim mode and engage your inner warrior. It’s hidden somewhere inside of you.

4. Stop reading and believing everything on the internet

Google is a great resource in general, but when it comes to you health or fertility, shut it down. If you are feeling ashamed of going to a doctor, you shouldn’t. There are more women going through the exact same thing that you have no idea about. There is nothing like too many questions, write them down so you don’t forget and if you have to read from a list to your doctor, just to make sure all your questions are answered, do that.