Dear MIMsters: I Took a Loan to Help Hubby. Now That He’s Rich, See What He’s Doing to Me

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I took a loan to help hubby, now that he’s rich, see what he’s doing to me.

I am 33 years old and my husband is 37. We have 3 kids, 9, 6, and a 3 months old.

I met my husband when he was at training college in 2001 . He approached me and told me he wanted to marry me. By then I had completed senior high school and wanted to further to training college. My husband did not have money, but I managed with him. So, I took him to meet my parents who also accepted him as he was. He claimed to have money set aside for our wedding rites, but when time came, he couldn’t come up with any money. So, my parent and I managed to do everything since the invitations had been sent out already.

We started our lives with a lot of financial crisis which led us to a whole lots of problems. So after my completion at the training college, I helped hubby further his education in one of our universities in Ghana. I bought him forms and took a loan for him to start his education. There wasn’t any single year that I didn’t take a loan for him. Thank God he graduated in 2008 and thanks to one man who came in to help take him out of the country. He went to the UK and left us here. At the beginning, he was calling and sending things to us, until one day. I went into my husband’s Facebook account and found out that he had tagged in a lady. I asked him and he said they are just friends and nothing else. Later, I decided to check the lady’s pics on Facebook and I saw so many pictures of my husband with the lady in display. I got mad and started calling my husband but he didn’t pick .

So, I sent a message to the lady that my husband is married to me and we have kids together. The lady started telling me that my husband told her he is not married, that he divorced me because I left him for another man . So I called my mother-in-law and other people to talk to him. But the lady told me she was pregnant for him which was confirmed as true by one of my husband’s friends. I managed with this because I was still in the university furthering my education. It’s wasn’t easy but I managed with him.

Hmmmm!!!! I was there one day thinking my husband had changed for the better since he pleaded with me to forgive him. He called and told me he will be coming to Ghana after living in the UK for five years. When he returned, he didn’t look for the kids and I. He came and his junior brother rented an apartment for him. I would call but he wouldn’t pick. He didn’t call until he came home one afternoon, a week after. He didn’t touch nor did he sleep with me, so, I asked him why he is ignoring me? He claimed he tracked my phone lines and he saw my love messages to my boy friends. Being in school, I use some words like dear, sweety etc which I thought was normal for both male and female friends that I have on campus.

Then later said he doesn’t feel anything anymore for me because I have grown fat. It’s a lie. I nearly died because I was shocked and couldn’t bear the pain. Later, he came to apologize to me that he was sorry, not knowing my husband came to Ghana to pick a lady to go with him to his place in the UK. I found the lady’s number and I contacted her. The lady said my husband said he has already divorced me and that we only have two kids. I explained everything to the lady, but she got angry and started giving it to me that my husband said that I am a thief and a prostitute. She insulted me saying that I am foolish to be in Ghana calling him my husband.

He came down one day and made love to me which lead to my third pregnancy after which he left for the U S. Later, the lady called to beg that she is sorry for breaking my home. My biggest worry is that my husband cannot show me off as his wife on Facebook or any other social media. He doesn’t involve me in his decisions or projects that he’s doing. He rented a place for me and later brought his people to stay there with me.

I am so confused and unhappy. I planned to move out and also end this unhappy marriage, but my mother keeps telling me to be patient because my husband is now rich. He has built a house for his family and he’s now on his. I am working as a graduate teacher. The truth is he takes care of his kids but I am emotionally not happy. Please advice me.