Dear MIMsters: Who Should I Take Sides With? Hubby Or My In-laws?

Please tell me who I should take sides with? Last year, hubby and I came to the states in order for me to give birth to my baby.

We stayed with his elder sister. Before his departure date, I had written down the list of things he needed to take home to his mum and sibling and even those his sis will be giving him to give to them.

Now on the night before his departure, I told his sister to give me the things she wants him to take and she said she was busy that she’ll bring them. So I left her to go arrange hubby’s luggage.

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We were doing the arrangement in our room and the door was shut, not knowing that she had brought the things and left them outside our room without letting us know.

After a while, we opened the door and hubby was telling me that it seems he was going to exceed the weight limit, she heard and started taking back the things she had kept there. He tried to explain to her that he didn’t say he wasn’t going to take them but she said that it’s obvious that “WE” do not want to take her things to her siblings and mum. And that was how the quarrel started.

Now, it was spoken in their language so I kept quiet, didn’t utter a word but kept telling my hubby to calm down.

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Hubby finally left and I stayed back with her for an additional 4 months. We had no issues but whenever I spoke with hubby, I would praise her, telling him how nice she has been to me and our baby and also telling him to apologise and make peace with her.

Seven months after the incident, they made up, my hubby called and apologised. I was so happy.

MIL came to visit me in my house after some months and told me that my SIL was angry with me because during the whole scuffle, I said nor did nothing. I was shocked and told her that, I didn’t want to have to pick sides because if I had to, I would have supported my hubby and she wouldn’t have liked that. She said okay.

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Now MIL has been here with me for more than a year after that incident. She repeated to me again that whenever my hubby is arguing with his siblings, I should caution him in the person’s presence so they won’t say I’m in support of him. I said nothing, just listened.

She said so many things like I should rather please his family than please my hubby and that if I don’t all my in-laws will hate me and she will be the first to start the hate.

Though hubby quickly came to my defence, telling her that he married me for him not for them and that any problem they have with him, they shouldn’t involve me. I got so mad that I started crying.

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You see why I didn’t want to bore you guys with the story? Now I am in a fix. I need to please my hubby at the same time, trying not to displease my in laws. Who should I take sides with?

Please how do you advice I go about it?