Dear MIMsters: Been Married for Six Years and Never Been Happy Because of this
My marriage is going to be six years this October and it has been a really rough one. The problem started seven months into our marriage when my hubby was transfered to another branch of their office where he met a lady. They got so close and started doing so many things together, from going to work together, eating together, coming back together, to discussing things he is suppose to be discussing with me with her. Most times, I get to know some of things he plans to do from their conversation on WhatsApp.
The lady calls first thing in the morning and late at night. After a while, I summoned the courage to confront him. I asked who she is to him and he said she is only a colleague, when I tried to probe further, he turns it into a fight and might not talk to me nor eat for days.
He later made us live in separate rooms and would chat late into the night and receive calls. He does not give me the freedom to express myself at anytime because he always turns it into a fight so I’m always scared. He never tells me how good I look but he does tell her.
Anytime I report him to his parents, mostly his father, they tell me, he is a man and I can’t tell him what and what not to do. I have asked him to choose between me and her several times but this hasn’t stopped him. instead he starts to fight, refuses to eat, and abuses me verbally. I would just cry until I have no more tears coming out and he would make jest of me. All these continued for almost five years until something terrible happened and he lost his job. The lady still didn’t leave him alone as I was always reading their chats where hubby intimates her of his moves that are unknown to me.
I didn’t get any attention and affection from him all those years, but when he lost his job he came back to me. I had no money and I wasn’t working as well. We decided to relocate which was sponsored by my parents; the rent, furnishing the apartment and even setting me a business for me. Hubby started with his attitude again. He wanted the money for himself. Initially, I refused and war started. Eventually, I gave in but told him he has to be giving me some money at the end of the month for my personal upkeep and he started a fight again saying I want to control him like I’m the boss, not minding I own the money.
I later left the money for him but that business failed. He is always nagging, shouting and fighting with me except when he wants sex and money. He never sees me as someone who is important to him as he doesn’t discuss his decisions or affairs with me while I am still the sole person responsible for our family’s upkeep, rents, school fees, feeding and anything you could think of.
The major problem now is that he is always threatening with a separation to abandon me and the kids anytime a refuse to give him anything he asks for. I have been sad all through this marriage, and he doesn’t respect my feelings at all. He believes he is the man and I shouldn’t say anything as a woman. I am very unhappy and lonely. Please mothers I need your advice on what to do.
How do women stay been disrespected this much? He is threatening you with separation and you are crying? When you are the bread winner? After cheating and rubbing it in your face? Women, women, women tsk tsk tsk. You better leave that man before he kills you. Thank God you can care for yourself and kids. Leave the he goat now because he is not worth you. I am so so pissed after reading this post. You let a man treat you like trash, and he still has the guts to be threatening you.
You have stayed for 6 years in that bondage called marriage. You have allowed him trample over your ego for 6 years.
You even fear him.
No strategy at all to call him to order.
Women!
When I talk now people will say why? You are not in a marriage. You are in a bondage. Take a walk.
Oh dear! If after all these years he cheats on yu and his parents supports him and he only wants yu for yur money and pussy,yur so on a long lonely journey. Cause if he sees any woman that can give him money he will dump yu and jump into da moving train. Nobody wants a failed marriage,but be careful so yu don’t give up a ghost trying to forge ahead. Give him a break. Dress nice,be very busy,make friends and hang out once in a while. Take yur kids to yur parents and have fun. While doing be praying for strength to take whatever he or da life he has made for yu throws at yu. Surf Facebook to read inspiring stories. Let me tell yu one. A woman was married 2012 thrown out in 2015 for not having a child and was accused of so many things even being a witch and remarried in 2016 and had a baby boy may 2017. Join women groups on fb. Sending love to yu.
My dear I think you lost your self worth somewhere in those 6years. It’s not too late… pick yourself up and you know what you are gonna do.. ? Kick that ungodly ungrateful man to the curb! Why are you so worried about him leaving when his presence doesn’t do much.. i think the best thing he can do for you is leave. And don’t forget to Pray to God because when you give everything to HIM , he will give you everything.
tell him you need d separation he is threatning you wt…