Dear MIMsters: How Do I Win Hubby’s Family Over? (Part 2)
Thanks MIM for all the contributions I have read so far on part one of my last post titled, How do I win Hubby’s Family Over.
It’s been helpful indeed to hear people’s opinions. Following my post about my MIL/SILs, I would need candid and honest views on how to go about this issue. Hubby and I and our child will be visiting Nigeria soon. We do not have a house of our own so will be staying at hubby’s family home.
The thought of this makes me sick as I don’t know how to go about this period at their place. My honest thought is to convince hubby for us to spend some time in my family home. My old parents would also like us to spend some time with them as well. This is an issue because the last time I visited, my MIL was so reluctant to let me go to my village to see my retired parents who live there.
Hubby visited too and MIL was not happy with him for going to see my parents without informing her and her husband, FIL. Honestly, I am confused as I do not want to be blamed or faulted for reacting to however they make me feel.
My parents do not know the exact place my in-laws live ( should anything happen to me.) MIL has refused to faciltate this. Even though I would like my parents to know where my in-laws live, one thing I will not take is having MIL disrespect my people. Please give me your honest opinion on this.
You have your lives to lead, you both ain’t kids anymore. You are parents now living your own life, making your own very decisions. Both of you should be on your feet about how you want to run your lives. When you come into the country, stay at the hotel and make your lives easy, visit whoever you want to visit and spend whatever time you plan to spend with them. The earlier you detach yourselves from your parents apron strings the better for you, enough said.
You should be free to visit your parents and spend some time with them without taking permission from your MIL. She does not own you. Also, it is very important that both sides of the family visit each other even as a one off exercise. Your husband needs to speak up and protect you from your overbearing MIL.
Talk to your husband about it. Why do nigerian women fear their husbands so much?
go see ur people first n let ur people know d address off your inlaws